Day 93 : Dealing with the mind, but neglecting the body

  Within the last few years, I started to work extensively on my process of self-forgiveness, push through my preprogramming and lived the change that I wanted to live. An interesting point that I noticed within that is that I have to some extent neglect taking care of my physical body. I kind of always postponed it almost like if I had created this idea of Correct the mind first then take care of the body without realizing that they need both to be addresses simultaneously. 

If I take care of my physical body by drinking enough water, get the best nutrition, do exercise, eat good quality food, have good quality sleep etc, I put myself in a position where I have more physical energy to walk my process of correcting my mind. 

Obviously, I understand that every thoughts/emotions/feeling are having an effect on my physical body, so walking the process of correcting my mind is a part of stoping the abuse of the physical body, but in my case, I focus only on that aspect without really focusing on the physical aspect of taking care of the body. 

I wasn't really living the principle of ''My physical body is my temple''  fully I was only working on one part of the equation.

''I honour and support my physical body as an expression of me. I nurture it and care for it in order to ensure my best possible expression in this life. I take into consideration the impact of thoughts and emotions on the physical body and within this I commit myself to practice self-awareness and self-care through not only diet and physical wellness but also internal stability and clarity.'' (https://desteni.org/about-us/desteni-principles)


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect my body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to operate on programs/habits/preferences in terms of how I was treating my body instead of reeducating myself and investigating what was the best support for my physical body. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny the consequences of what I was doing or not doing to my physical body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect having the best nutrition

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect doing regulars exercises

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect drinking enough water everyday

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the body affect the mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that neglecting my body was in fact slowing me down in my process to correct my mind. 

When and as I see myself slipping down into habit that are destructive for my physical body, I stop and breath. 

I commit myself investigate all my habits that are having a direct impact on my physical body to see if there's improvement to be made. 

I commit myself to create new physical habits to support my body in the best way. 

I commit myself to work simultaneously on correcting my mind and taking care of my physical body. 

I commit myself to honor the principle of '' My physical body is my temple'' 

Day 92: Reflecting on indifference

 Today, I catch myself having backchat about the overall indifference that I am observing from people in general. I then go into blame and I could see anger building up within myself. As I became aware of my backchat/reaction, I stop and bring everything back to myself in one moment to ask myself how I was participating in that pattern, because what I learn in the past years is that what I am blaming other for is generally what I refuse to see within myself. 

I could clearly see that my judgement towards others was actually self-judgment, because when I start to really look at it, there's so much more that I could actually do with my current set of skills, abilities and sphere of influences. Real care is not shown by intention, but by living our principle through our actions. So I was blaming other people for not caring, but in reality, I wasn't doing what I know I should do, so I start to look at what was wrong inside of me instead of facing that point within me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame other people for their indifference to distract myself from my participation within that point 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry as I was seeing other people being indifferent. 

When and as I see myself blaming other people for being indifferent I stop and breath 

I realize that that me blaming other people within that point was actually me distracting myself from seeing how I was participating in that point. 

I commit myself to live the word care. 

I commit myself to show through my actions that I do care. 

Day 91 : Supression of depression

 After I walked my lesson on Self-Honesty in my SRA, I realize how often I was actually lying to myself and how quickly I was suppressing a point that was emerging within myself. 

The interesting thing is that it's not a new phenomena, it's something that I always done, but without that understanding, I wasn't fully aware that I was suppressing those points. 

One point that come up this week was the feeling of depression. For the first time in my life, I was able to see that this wasn't just a point coming up, this was an under-lying point that was virtually constantly present throughout my life. 

I realize that the way I coped with that point was by constantly distracting myself from it. In the past when I was still drinking, I was using alcohol as a suppressor to get a relief from this feeling. I also distracted myself by keeping myself busy by working or simply trying to distract myself by thinking about something else. 

One other subtle way to refuse to acknowledge it, by participating into backchat like " I have no reason to be depress, I have an amazing life, I am so lucky, There's people that live horrible life that do have a pretty good reason to be depress'' etc. 

So for the first time of my life, I stopped and look at that feeling that was happening within me. I take a look at the ''Self forgiveness on the experience of depression on EQAFE'' which allowed me to put the words of what I was participating in within that points. 

I also get external support to get additional perspective on that point so I could get more clarity and cross reference my own conclusion. 

One thing that was I realize was the feeling of depression itself wasn't a big deal. What was a big deal was me starting to judge myself or me trying to suppress the point instead of acknowledging it, investigating it, write on it, breath through it. 

That has made a huge difference that really allowed me to start to face that point that exist within myself since a very long time. It's gonna be a process to fully process this point, but now that I have bring some self-honesty within that point, I can start to peel the layer of that ''onions'' 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel depressed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress the feeling of depression when it was coming up 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distract myself from depression 

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to feel that inner suffering

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for the feeling of depression


When and as I see myself feeling depressed, I stop and breath 

When and as I see myself feeling Sad, I stop and breath 

When and as I see myself feeling lonely, I stop and breath 

When and as I see myself Judging myself for feeling depress, I stop and breath

When and as I see myself fearing being judge by others for feeling depress I stop and breath

I commit myself to remain self-honest when that feeling of depression is coming up within me

I commit myself to breath instead of suppressing the feeling of depression

I commit myself to take steps in the physical to bring myself back here

I commit myself to when and as I feel depress to not go into victimization and take practical action to get out of my depression. 

Day 90 Believing in myself? WTF?

Tonight, I woke up around 3:00AM in the middle of the night and I wasn't able to fall asleep I check my phone to see what time it was and I saw a notification that Gian went live few hours ago. Since I wasn't able to sleep I chose to listen to it, since Gian always have some cool perspective that are supportive. 

Here's the video: https://www.facebook.com/gian.robberts/videos/705924044187181

In his video, Gian was talking about the fact that Bernard told him to believe in himself. When I heard that, I was even confuse, because once I start to investigate words 3 years ago, I remember pretty well the conclusion that I have drawn from redefining the word belief. 


Once I realize that a belief was something that we've accepted to be true, I make internally the decision that I would simply remove this word from my vocabulary. I mean why would I want to have beliefs if they're not real. That wouldn't be practical isn't?

I had been a believer for my entire life and that led me to complete delusion. That led me to hold back to things that wasn't real. 

So I was surprise to hear that. 

Then he explain that we have to use what's here and to understand the way we are programmed and use that to our advantage. 

The fascinating thing is that, I noticed that lot of people that have success in the system are believer. I remember one public speaker specifically which was a world class public speaker. He was also a believer. He shared that the reason why he became a speaker was because he had some kind of revelation from Jesus when he was young. 

I was astounded to see that this guy had a massive level of success even if his entire life was based on a delusion. 

I saw many many example like that, where people build their success based on their beliefs or simply believing in themselves. 

So how does that relate to my process. At some point, I came to the conclusion that it wasn't acceptable to believe anything or even believe in myself. 

Gian was explaining that it's good to have believe until you reach the point of understanding/living where you can actually share from your first hand experience. 

I can now clearly see the importance of this concept and the mistake that I have done within this. I tried to suppress the ''bridge'' that would lead me to real understanding/living. 

So obviously, I don't have to start to believe some random shit that is not practical, but starting to believe in myself, believe in my abilities and believe that I can do it is a pretty good foundation, until I can fully live that as my expression. 

So now I can see how I can practically use belief in a way that's best without losing myself in it. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that can use beliefs in a beneficial way 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not believe in myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist beliefs

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that beliefs can be a bridge that can potentially lead me to real understanding

Day 89: It's too late = Excuse for not taking responsibility for what's here

As I was looking at everything that was going on in the world and reflecting on my own process, one question came into my mind: Is it too late? 

The reasoning behind that question was that I could see that real change take time, dedication and constant application. Breaking free from the ego take everything that we have. 

And I was looking at the world, where the brainwashing is really extensive where people don't hesitate to sacrifice their health and their children health in the name of their personal interest.

I could see how easily the population can be manipulated. 

I could see the crystallization of the mind and see how hard it is for an adult walk their self-corrective process. 

So acknowledging what I was seeing in reality, bring that thought to my mind : Is it too late? 

The interesting thing that I have observed for the people that ''think it's too late'' is that they will immediately go back to their self-interest, and try to accumulate as much feeling/pleasures before they die, so they can extract the most possible energy from this life, before they end. 

So the fascinating point that I could see was that accepting the point within myself of ''It's too late'' would be nothing more than a strategy from my ego to escape responsibility and go back to seeking my own self-interest to the detriment of other. 

Interestingly enough, I already taken that road around 14 years ago, when one of my friend suddenly died. Instead of asking myself how I could bring real value into this world, while I am here, I went into the complete opposite and just want to take as much possible from this life. In this process, I went into extremely destructive behavior and it lead me to a situation where I was in an even worse position.

So what would be the best way to respond to that existential question '' Is it too late?'' 

Instead of making a movie in my mind about it, I can simply go back to the basic and ask myself how can I can take responsibility for what's here. Who do I need to become in order to be able to do something about the bigger picture? What limitation I am currently accepting within myself? 

If we really look at it, it's far from being game over. 

Life would never wonder if it is too late

The sun would never wonder if it's too late

The earth would never wonder if it's too late

The physical body never wonder if it's too late

They are just here, and they do what they need to do in the moment 

So that point of '' It's too late'' is just a mind point that have nothing to do with the physical reality. It's just an excuse for not taking responsibility. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that ''it's too late""

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that thinking it's too late is just a way to escape self-responsibility 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt myself 

When and as I see myself thinking '' It's too late'' I stop and breath 

I realize that ''It's too late'' is just a program in my mind to try to escape self-responsibility 

Thus, I commit myself to take responsibility for what's here 

I commit push through my limitation

I commit myself to take responsibility for my inner reaction

I commit myself to bring myself back here

I commit myself to do what I need to do.

Day 88: Honesty is deception, Self-Honesty is the key

 I recently walked the lesson on Self-Honesty in my SRA2 and I was surprise to realize that honesty was a part of the deception of the mind. The interesting thing is that once you're aware of that, you can't really go back. I start to see within myself the deception when I was honest with someone else, but not fully self-honest within myself. 

I also my find myself being honest with other people in a way where I was selling them on me being fully honest and transparent, and in most of the case, people would be in agreement with me because of the way I present information to them, but in reality, my ego remain intact. 

So I learned a lot from this and realize that being honest is not enough. I must use honesty as a door to self-honesty. I must be self-aware in those moment, to really investigate what's going on within myself behind the thought/emotions/Feelings that I am sharing with another person. Obviously, the mind have a tendency to suppress quickly those things, so instead of pretending that I am dealing with them on my mind, I must sit down, write about those things, do my self-forgiveness, do my self-corrective statement and go out there and live the change. I can also share those writing with someone else so they can cross reference if I am really correcting myself or if I am using my writing to reinforce my ego. 

I knew since a while that Self-Honesty in the key to REAL change, the key to self-REALization, the key to life, they key to here, the key to break free from my mind. It's only recently that I started to realize what real self-honesty is all about.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that being honest was the same than being self-honest

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the deception in honesty

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that everything I am honest, it open me the door to look deeper and be Self-Honest

When and as I see myself being honest with someone, I stop and breath

When and as I see myself being afraid to look at what's being the honesty, I stop and breath

I realize that I have confuse Self-Honesty with Honesty for a long time and that has hold be back in my process, because I give myself the illusion that I was moving forwards with certain point which I was honest about with other people, without really being fully honest with myself about what was really going on. 

Thus, I commit myself to, when I am honest with another person, not stop there and truly investigate what's going on within myself and do some writing so I can find out what's really going on, where does that ''truth'' that I am sharing as ''thought/emotion/feeling/'' is actually coming from and walk a process of self-correction on the underlying points. 

Day 87 Getting back on track while we're heading to WW3

For  Context: It's been 8 months since I haven't made any public blog/vlog about my process. During that time, I was still walking my process: Working on my DIPpro, just recently complete the first year of my DIPpro and recently started my SRA2 and this is from my experience the most in advance in depth course, I have even been exposed to. The process of self-discovery is quite journey. 

Many events happened between my last blog and now, and I found myself doing the bare minimum in term of writing. I wasn't writing consistently like I used to do at the beginning of my process. I was completely open about my process at the beginning, but once I started DIPpro, I stopped exposing myself. I was still working on a daily basis to become aware of my limitation, forgive them, Correct them and then live the change in real life. I have been able to overcome many points within the last fews months, but where's the record. On a subconscious level I start to be afraid to expose myself. Afraid to fall, afraid to be judge afraid that people would use the information in my blog against me, afraid to show my weaknesses to the world. And I was pondering about this... If I would die today, where would be the record between the 6JUNE2021 to today. Nothing that people can cross reference my process/change. By keeping myself isolated/hidden, I also give myself an escape route where it wasn't a  big deal if I am not walking my process seriously for couple days, or weeks or even months. I mean who would know? 

Now, I start have a glimpse of what it really mean to be self-honest. It's an ongoing process of uncovering all the layers of Dishonesty/Self-Dishonesty/Honesty

Also, as I started walking my DIPpro, I realize that most of my SF in my past blog wasn't actually real, it wasn't really effective. I felt in that way that it wasn't worth it to keep blogging publicly, if I wasn't fully effective. Now I can see that it didn't really matter because even if the structure wasn't perfect it always bring awareness to some extent to what's going on within myself and gave me the opportunity to start working on some point . So using wanting to be perfect as an excuse to not do something is just ego, because that's what the process of self-correction is all about, realizing where we make mistakes and correct them. What was my starting point anyway? Trying to prove to the world that I was doing good self-forgivness lol? 

Now, as I am writing those words, the system is busy collapsing in front of our eyes. The war for the mind is here. People are more divided than ever and the elite is out of control. I noticed that most people have the ability to don't look at what's going on in  reality. It's easier for them to operate in their everyday life when they don't have to look at the bigger picture. At some point in my life, I made the decision that I would always keep my eyes wide open on what's really going in this world. Right now it's not a pretty picture. In the last 2 years, I see more death, suicide, people forced intro poverty, division, starvation, suffering than ever. I've seen lives of people in my surrounding being completely destroyed. 

The pressure become unbearable and people can't handle it, because of the ineffective programming that they received from the system. 

It's quite obvious at this point that we are heading towards a world war, actually it's already started since many years : The war for the mind. 

When I look back at my past year, I am wondering how much more I could have done, if I would not have allowed my limitation to hold me back. Now it's time to let it all go and to recreate myself as real being of integrity that stand and live the principles of life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to isolate myself 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that someone would judge my writing 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel judge

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to write with the starting point of trying to prove something to the world 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek approval in my writing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I don't need to write to sort out point

When and as I see myself wanting to isolate myself and not expose myself, I stop and breath 

When and as I see myself fearing being judge if I expose my writing, I stop and breath 

When and as I see myself falling, I stop and breath

When and as I see myself fearing being judge, I stop and breath

When and as I see myself doing something with the starting point of proving something to the world, I stop and breath. 

I commit myself to be more transparent

I commit myself to keep walking my process with the starting point of self-realization 

I commit myself to when I fall, to stand up and keep going

Day 86: Redefining the words power/empower

For context, I become aware that I have this reoccurring pattern when I find myself reacting with overwhelming rage when I was in situation where some restrictions was impose on me. By having a discussion with someone that support me within that point I realize that the main emotion that I was experiencing in that moment was feeling powerless. I notice that with the COVID situation and seeing the world falling apart around me, it intensify that feeling within me, because I develop a sense of emergency. I know within myself that I can be a part of the solution, so when another person is imposing me something where I will be restricted in either the area of time of money, I have within me this rage towards them a part of me want to blame them instead of taking responsibility for how I am reacting to the situation. 

So let's start by looking at the definition of the word POWERLESS

1. devoid of strength or resources
2.lacking the authority or capacity to act

3. without ability, influence, or power.

4. unable to produce an effect:

5. lacking power to act; helpless

 So by looking at the various definition, I can see why that feeling of overwhelming rage was emerging whitin me when I was in a situation where I felt powerless. I felt in a way that I didn't really have the ability/strenght/capacity/influence/power to do something about that particular situation. Therefore, instead of focusing only on trying to remove those external limitations, I should bring all of this back to my self and see how I can live those words as my expression, because at the end, there's always some limitation in this world. So my focus should be on removing the limitation within my programming, so I can become more effective within the external limitations of this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel powerless when I am in a situation where I am restricted in my finance

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel powerless when my time is restricted by some events

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let the feeling of being powerless into an intense rage 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate responsibility and blame external people/events/circumstance instead of looking within myself to find out why I feel powerless  within those situation 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into blame instead of taking the right action in the physical to get myself out of the situation where I am restricted 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that there's always some limitations in the current system

When I see myself feeling powerless, I stop and breath. I realize that it's a waste of time to blame people/circumstance and let that evolve into rage instead of taking responsibility for what's going on within myself . I realize that my emotional reaction prevent me from taking the right action in the physical and work on practical solutions. Therefore, next time, I will feel powerless, I commit myself to stop, look at what I can DO in the moment, and take the best action that I can take within the limitation of the situation. 

Now let's look at the word power and see how I can live this word that I feel I am missing. 

1. the ability to do something or act in a particular way, especially as a faculty or quality

2. the capacity or ability to direct or influence the behavior of others or the course of events

3. ability to act or produce an effect

4. ability to do or act; capability of doing or accomplishing something.

Now I can clearly see why I felt powerless in certain situation. I was focusing on what I didn't felt I have the ability to do something about it and one of the main point that I notice was that when I felt powerless, I was going into that state of paralysis, therefore I wasn't taking the action that I needed to take in the moment to get myself out of that situation. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that there's nothing that I can do 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see POWER as something bad and associate this word with Dictatorship, Tyranny, Control

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that having power is having the ability to do something about the situation I am in 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear living the word power as my expression

When I see myself feeling powerless, I stop and breath. I realize that I was holding myself back from living the word POWER as my expression because I didn't really understand why power really mean and I had a negative emotional charge attach to that word. I realize that having power is in fact a really good thing specially in the current system that we live in where problematic situation are happening every single day. Therefore having the power to do something about it is quite cool, Thus I commit myself to live the word POWER as my expression as the ability to do what's the best thing to do in every moment by considering every variable that I can currently conceive within my current limitation. 

Now let's take a look at the word EMPOWER 

1. to give power or authority to; authorize, especially by legal or official means
2. to enable or permit:

3. give (someone) the authority or power to do something.

4. make (someone) stronger and more confident, especially in controlling their life and claiming their rights.


So now the key point is to see how I can empower myself, which come down to giving myself the power/AUTHORity to do something about my situation. This is a decision I can make in every moment that I feel powerless instead of going into blame/anger/frustration/rage and stay trapped in my mind/story/drama. 

Day 85 : Alcohol, Chistmas, New year and fighting the mind demon

Around mid October, I have make the decision that I would stop drinking alcohol for 3 months. When I was on a trip in Texas, I was chatting with someone that is very advanced in her Desteni process and walk herself the point of stopping alcohol. I didn't had a hard time to stop drinking during those 3 months because I was focus on multiple project and moving forward with my business. When I shared with her my process of stopping for 3 months, she suggest to me to stop for an entire years. When she suggest that to me, the addiction programming really kicked in and I had massive amount of resistance. The backchat immediately start to come up. '' 1 years, are you crazy, I don't want to stop one year, Christmas is coming, I cannot not drink at Christmas! I love drinking, I don't want to give it up for so long, I want to be able to drink a cup of wine if I go on a date, fuck this, I don't want to give up drinking a refreshing cold IPA during the next summer etc. 

When she look at how I react, she say that it was now clear to her that it must be the point that I must give up in order for me to unlock all the other points that I am suppressing. When I was looking myself with self honesty, I was able to see that she was right. I could clearly saw how this addiction was holding me back in many area of my life. In 2020 I have push myself beyond my limitation. I have push through my preprogramming to some extent, and when I step out of my preprogramming in some case I will experience massive resistance. When I have successfully walked through it, I did experience permanent change to some extend, but what I realize is that in some case, instead of pushing through that resistance, I used alcohol to try to get a release from my mind. So instead of facing the point, I was pushing on the reset every single time and therefore failed to change the programming. 

So in self-honesty, I knew I changed a lot, but how much more could I change if I would fully walk through that resistance instead of using alcohol to release myself from it. The thing is that the issue was way deeper than I thought 

After she saw my reaction, she suggest me to read 2 blogs from creation journey to life.  
http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/01/day-284-alcohol-drugs-and-demon.html
http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/01/day-285-alcohol-drugs-and-demon.html

In those blogs, Bernard explain that during our entire life we create what he call a ''suppressed personality''. That suppressed personality is like an entity/mind demon made of suppressed energy. When we drink alcohol it activated that entity. We are virtually possessed by that mind demon. 

That was painful for me to read and I REALLY resist those blog. Here's why. It's only when I was drinking that I was fully feeling ''myself''. What I was thinking to be myself was just an energetic entity made of suppressed energy. What a shock for me to realize that I never really experience myself as who I really am. As I start to observe other people around me getting drunk, I realized that I was not alone in this. People become virtually possessed when they are drunk. I can see a complete shift in their behavior that's no different at all than the kind of possession that we can see in the movie. 

In completely honesty even knowing all of that, I still didn't want to stop. The mind kicked in again, the backchat, the emotional reaction, the physical reaction etc. But who the fuck is talking? me or a fucking mind demon made of suppressed energy ? 

It's then become quite obvious that having an entity within myself made of suppressed energy wasn't my optimal situation. The other thing that become obvious was that I couldn't deal with that if I would keep drinking because otherwise I would just keep repeat the same cycle. 

Anyway, mid December came and I complete my 3 months challenge, but I didn't celebrate by getting drunk. I didn't really notice, because I was focus on project, but them Christmas came. 

Now for me spending Christmas with my family was a massive trigger generator. They had wine during the dinner, some of the best beers during the evening, some of the finest liquor. 

People offering me drink and beer, I had to decline over and over again even if my body was fucking craving it. I could smell the aroma of the IPA from their glasses. That trigger various memories within myself. Just to pain the picture, I cannot go and barricade myself in a room and do self-forgiveness, it's Christmas, so I stay there with them and I fight against my own mind demon. Then at some point, I get a bit bored. I know that drinking alcohol would allow me to relax and have fun, but I make the decision that I would not drink. I ended up getting over being bored. At some point we play some board game and I had a great time. That physical activity allow myself to get out of my mind. The interesting thing is when it's getting late and I see everyone totally drunk, I don't have any desire to be like them anymore. They process things very slowly, they can barely have a conversation, they are very emotional for stupid stuff etc. I can now see the mind demons in other people. And for the first time in that evening, I feel quite good about myself for not getting drunk. 

The day after, while everyone was hangover, I was alert and I was working on some project that I am passionate about. Stuff that actually matter. 

I had to walk through that experience 4 times during Christmas and the New years party. I wish I could tell it was easier and easier. It wasn't. The alcohol programming is so engrained within me that the same pattern repeat itself every single party. Because I started DIPpro, I could understand clearly the connection between the triggers and how it was manifesting in my conscious/subconscious/unconscious mind. 

Now I have the tool so I can work through it. Since this is a big point for me, I will need to dig deeper. Because not drinking is surface stuff, I need to use the tools to expose all that stuff that I have suppressed within myself over the last 30 years. 

Now let's do a bit of SF 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that alcohol was allowing to be myself when in fact was I thought was myself was in fact a mind demon made of suppressed energy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist quitting alcohol 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that my life would miss something without alcohol 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear giving up alcohol 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate excitement with alcohol 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that my life would be boring without alcohol 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use alcohol to get a release from my mind without realizing that I was just in fact postponing the problem by doing a mind-reset 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use alcohol to avoid discomfort

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use  alcohol to feel alive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how much alcohol fuck with my physical body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drink to generate mental energy instead of focusing on creating real value in this world 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny the consequence of alcohol on the physical body 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that in order to sort out that suppressed energy within myself, I must stop drinking long enough so I can really face those point

When I find myself craving alcohol, I stop and breath

Day 84: We can't go back, let's move forward

2020 is coming to an end. For most people that was the year where everything collapse. For me that was the year that accelerate my individual process. As everything start to collapse around me, I had 2 options. Collapse with the system, or stand as a self-leader as living example of integrity. At some point it was quite obvious that the elite would not back up this time. We all have secretly the desire that everything will go back to normal, just like that by magic. Unfortunately, it's time more than ever to give up all hope. 

I have make the decision to give up hope around 1 years ago. From a certain perspective, it was hard to give it up, because once you give up hope you must take responsibility for absolutely everything in this world. The poverty, the abuse, the violence and all the horrible stuff that's happening in this world in the name of self-interest. How could a single human being could handle that much responsibility? 

Even if I didn't feel that I could do anything about any of those global problem, I knew one thing. I knew that it was possible for an individual to change. I see so many people using the Desteni tool really changing their life and I had my own experience to know first hand that human nature can change. So hope was no longer a strategy. 

There's this old concept that say that : With great power comes great responsibility. What people never want to talk about is the fact that we have no power to change anything without taking responsibility. Everything is in reverse. With great responsibility comes great power ! 

So I should never be afraid to take more responsibility. The ''pandemic'' really give me the opportunity to do so. 

Now more than ever it's easy to '' give up my life'' or in another word '' giving up my self-interest'' it's easier to focus on what really matter. 

If I still postponed standing up, walking my process, and become a living example of integrity, I cannot complain about the outcome. The elite are not afraid of responsibility, that's why they are able to direct virtually everything in this world. If I keep walking my process and I proof to myself that I can be trusted with power and influence, I should not be afraid to become equal to them so I can be in a greater position of directing this world towards what's best for all life. Therefore I must embrace responsibility. If I can't handle it, I must change so I can handle more because time is running out. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I must move fast

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that thinking that I have more than enough time to change the system was a form of hope where I wasn't willing to take absolute 100% self-responsibility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking more responsibility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear giving up my self interest

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself to take more responsibility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that if it's to be, it's up to me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the simplicity of the principle of accumulation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be obsess on the bigger picture and stop focusing on the simplicity of the 1+1=2 equation

I commit myself to stop the fear of responsibility

I commit myself to stand as a living example of integrity

I commit myself to not let the external event deviate me from my life purpose

I commit myself to show to the world what's possible when you have access and use the Desteni tool

Day 83 : The beginning of DIP pro

I have started the DIPpro recently. 

I was pretty satisfied with the results that I was having with the DIPlite, and all the other Desteni matherial and tools that I had access to. 

I was starting to feel that I was virtually limitless. 

Interestingly enough, I quickly realize that I was lying to myself when I find myself in a situation where I feel completely blocked/stuck emotionally. I didn't how to deal with this massive emotional reaction on the moment. Every time I face a wall in my life, it bring me point into the space of raw self-honesty, where I must confront the fact that I am still incredibly limited despite how much progress I have done. 

 One thing about me is I hate being limited, so when I realize that I am limiting myself, I ask myself what can I do about that. At this point in my process, the answer was obvious to me. It was time for me to start the DIPpro. 

Only the first lesson completely blown my mind. I realize how little I was actually understanding about the mind. I was talking about the conscious/subconscious/unconscious mind without really having any real understanding of how it was actually working. 

This new vocabulary allowed me to see first hand the process that's going on within myself when I am triggered. That alone increase my self-awareness dramatically. I was able to see the reaction evolving within myself and redirecting myself through breathing. When I was writing on a specific point it was way more effective and I was actually going somewhere instead of just writing some random stuff. 

I then realize that what was missing for me was a STRUCTURED way of change. And that's why DIPpro is so awesome to me. It take me a while to get started, but I will stick to it. At this point in time, I will start increase the amount of responsibilities so I can lead more people to lead themselves. If I am not walking my process simultaneously, I could collapse. By staying consistent with my process, I also ensure that my ego will not take over my integrity. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I have figure it out 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I didn't need DIPpro

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to invest into DIPpro 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the DIPpro is the most advance structured way of change available on the planet.

I commit myself to complete my DIPpro, no matter how long it take, no matter how challenging it is. 

Day 82 : 13. My Physical Body is My Temple

13. My Physical Body is My Temple

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I honour and support my physical body as an expression of me. I nurture it and care for it in order to ensure my best possible expression in this life. I take into consideration the impact of thoughts and emotions on the physical body and within this I commit myself to practice self-awareness and self-care through not only diet and physical wellness but also internal stability and clarity. ( Source : https://desteni.org/about-us/desteni-principles) 


My health research led me to realize that the the physical body is run by an incredible intelligence that go way beyond the mind. Instead of trying to to figure out how to heal, I realize that they mains keys for the optimal functioning of my physical body was to provide it with the proper fuel and make sure I am not interfering with that intelligence that run everything within my physical body. 

I have for a long time, thought that I could use my mind to heal my physical body, what I end up realizing later was that my mind was in fact interfering with my natural ability to heal. If I cut my finger, my body is already working on healing it and the entire process is beyond what I can conceive in my mind. That was arrogant to think that my mind had anything to do with that. 

Everyone know that stress is very destructive for the physical body, what nobody talk about is where does that stress come from. That's why the DIP is key to reprogram myself as what's best for all life is a vital key to be healthy, because disease is the incorrect programming of the words into the flesh where all that's life is considered or realized. Nobody will ever figure this out on their own. A structed way of change is require so we can understand how the mind works, how the body works, how reality works, hoe we have been programmed and how to correct that. There's no self-development course out there that teach the full process of how everything work. Therefore in order to really addresses the root cause of stress, the Desteni tools are require.

The next points is to understand to do basic nutrition about what's optimal for our physical body and what should be avoid. 

One of the best advice that I receive was to eat what's the closest as nature instead for us, because life know better than us. Depending of where we lived and our genetic makeup, we all have different needs, so there's not one recipe that will fit for everyone. We have to investigate everything, to be aware that the desire of profits have take over our food industries. So we must investigate all thing with common sense, and keep what's best. 

I could sum up everything by that. In order to take care of my physical body, I must feed it with the proper nutrition, drink enough water, rest when needed and the most important thing of all walking my process so I can calibrated my mind to do what's best and therefore stop the parasitical mind to consume my physical body. I must acknowledge that my body is important and must be taking care of in order for me to fulfill my fullest potential within this life. I remember one great quotes from the Dr Marshall : '' there's no super achiever with a migraine'' Therefore it's important to take care of the body, if I want to have the greatest impact possible within this life, because my time here is limited. 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

Day 81 : 12. The Principle of Visibly Living the Principles

Actively living the proof of what can be accomplished when individuals live their potential by ensuring that these principles come through in all that I do, in all areas of my life, so that the example I set for others always stands for What is Best for All. ( source: Desteni.org)

When someone is willing to stand up as what's is best for all life, he give others the permission to do so. I have been inspired to walk my own process because I have see the results of it in other's people life. I noticed within those that have worked on changing their structural resonance since a while, that they had a very level of emotional stability. What really hit me was the level of authenticity that was coming from them. The proof was in the pudding. 

At that moment in my life, I didn't really understand how the Desteni tools would be different than any other things that I had ever tried in my life. I tried virtually everything in my life and I was affraid that this would also be a waste of time. After fews months using the tools, I had enough clarity to see how effective they were. 

Overtime, I get more and more clarity and I could see how the Desteni message was making so much sense. I didn't had to believe anything, I was just observing with common sense, how we could actually solve the problem of this world. I remember in one audio Bernard say the the Desteni message is the hardest message on earth to bring to other people. With great power came great responsibility. Once you take the red pill, you cannot go back. I couldn't do like cipher in the matrix and go back to the delusion of the mind. 

Since I couldn't go back, I had to move forwards. The only way out was to create a world that's best for all. My only way out was to walk my own individual process.

I had to find out what my real potential was and not the bullshit that have been programmed into me by the personal development industry. 

So I started to talk my process more and more seriously, I fall many many times, but I always get back up. I already been on the road of self-interest for long enough to know that it's a dead end. Like in the matrix '' You have been down that road before'' I knew I had no future on that road. 

As I am writing those words, I am walking my process since almost 2 years, and I had proof to myself and others around me that it's possible to change. It will take time to deal with all the point, but I can still stand up right now within my current limitation as what's best for all. I will fall again, I will make mistake, but I will never give up until my last breath on this planet. 

Day 80 : 11. The Principle of Relationships as Agreements

11. The Principle of Relationships as Agreements

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Individuals coming together to support the manifestation of the best possible versions of ourselves and each other. Nurturing each other's potential and supporting one another to transform weaknesses into strengths. Creating a safe space for the healthy expression of intimacy and sexuality. ( source: https://desteni.org/about-us/desteni-principles) 

My last relationship wasn't based on agreement at all. It was purely based on feelings. The problems with that is that feeling have no structure, so when that fussy feeling of love that make us feel warm inside disappear, the relationship collapse. 

We were not focus on nurturing each other potential, our focus was to nurture our own self interest. It's almost if we were both having in the back of our mind : '' how much can I take from this person so I can generate that feeling of love that make me feel really good'' That was fucked. 

Now after a while walking my process for a while, I can see why relationships based on principles are a very solid foundation for a stable relationship, because principle are stable, feelings are not. How could we build a skyscraper without a solid foundation. 

Now it's seems easy on paper, but in real life application it's a constant process of self-introspection where I will have to investigate every point within me where I will have the desire to put ''me'' first instead of ''what's best for both of us'' first. The good thing is that I have all the tools available to walk through those point.    

 

Day 79 : 10 the principle of honouring life in all forms

 

10. Honouring Life in all forms

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I expand my awareness and responsibility to consider and create the best possible life for everyone and everything from the large to the small. ( source : https://desteni.org/about-us/desteni-principles) 

In order for me to honor all life, I must be clear about what life actually is. I remember talking with a guy fews years ago. I was explaining to him that tree was alive. I look at me very confuse and say to me that tree are not really alive lol. 

To make it simple, I can simply look at the balance that exist within nature. All system are interdependant and connected together. Even if everything follow a specific set of programs, nature is very balanced compare to the world of the human rules by the mind. 

A good starting point is to be aware of everything that exist in the physical and observe how I as individual impact those things. Do I support the physical or do I abuse it. 

On a smaller scale, I can look at my own physical body. If I seek energy like a crack addict, it's obvious that my physical body will deteriorate itself. It's well known that stress deteriorate the physical body and accelerate the aging process like crazy. What it's not that well known is where does the stress actually come from. As I start walking my process with Desteni, I realize how little I actually know about the mind and his structure. I realize that I was programmed to abuse life. Everything was automated. 

Then I can expand my awareness to all the human being and see how I impact them. I must be honest with myself. It's not easy to admit that my participation in the money system is creating poverty on the other side of the world. It's not easy to acknowledge the suffering that I am creating for other when I chose to seek my own self-interest, but it's necessary, if I want to stop the abuse. 

Then I can expand my awareness to the animals and see how much suffering we have created within the animals kingdoms in the name of our self-interest. A great example is that we put animals in zoo where animals can never truly live as their full potential all of it for us to generate a feeling. We have reduce something beautiful to consumerism all of it for our own self interest. I could also speak about the atrocious condition that animals have to go through in the mass meat production industries. If we would raise and slaughter the animals that we are eating, we would probably not wasted as much as we do now. I don't talk about going vegan here, I talk about understanding how I as individual participate in the abuse. 

Then I can expand my awareness to the nature ( plants, water, minerals etc). We are all dependant from nature to survive. The tree for example are recycling our CO2 and converting it to oxygen. In the name of profit, we have decimated nature and we keep doing it. Here the abuse is obvious. How many tree are use to print newspapers? All of it to make sure everybody stay brainwash into consumerism. 100% of it could go digital and we could stop cutting tree for that specific purpose, but a good old paper journal in the home is more effective to fulfill his purpose. 

All of that bring us to the money system. First I must investigate how I participate in seeking my self interest. On a bigger scale, we must address the money system that lead us to compete with each other and seek our self-interest. What can I do now? I must walk my own individual process and remove all the points of abuse that exist within me. Then I must stand with a group so we can adress the system. 

Day 78 : 9.The Principle of Making Love Real

9. The Principle of Making Love Real

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Nurturing and honouring the utmost potential in every individual (including myself) wherein love is not a feeling or emotions, but an action sthat is lived by doing whatever is necessary to support without compromising myself or the other - without fear of "losing" the relationship or the feelings associated to love, and without accepting or allowing less than my own or my partner's utmost potential.( source : https://desteni.org/about-us/desteni-principles) 

Few years ago, I have been into my love and light phase, where I was convinced that ''sending'' love was having a positive impact on the world. I mean I studied the work of Emoto and saw how the word ''love'' was creating the perfect beautiful structure of water crystal. When I look back, I realize that my love and light phase was the greatest phase of self-interest I have ever gone through. I could I pretend that love would solves things like poverty when I myself was relying on having my basic need met to be able to feel that love. With common sense, I could easily have seen that the world wasn't lacking love as a feeling. In fact love was the justification to allow the abuse to perpetuate itself. Later on when I have been expose to the Desteni material I have been snapped out of my delusion. I realize that Emoto wasn't in fact understanding what the fuck he was doing lol. I realize that the structure of the water crystal was in fact a reflection of our consciousness. I realize that trying to use love as a feeling to bring any change in this world was retarded. 

Later on, I realize that real love is shown through real action in the physical world. A mother that feed her child is doing an act of real love. A parent that wake up in the middle of the night to take care of his child that is crying despite of how he feel is doing an act of love. Real love is in fact measurable in the physical world. Love as a feeling can always been use to deceive and manipulate other. 

 

So in the fucked up system we are currently living in, what would be the greatest act of love possible if love is what we do. If we look at the amount of people that die from starvation everyday, we might realize that we are not that loving.

 With that in mind, Creating a world system that's best for all become the greatest act of love that someone could ever conceive. Do we know all the detail ? Nope, but we know that everybody have basic need. So let's start there.  

I am not stupid, I know that I won't change the system on my own. I must be self-honest and ask myself if I as individual is doing the right thing to bring change within the system so we could eventually have a world that's best for all.

 

Day 77 : The principle of self-trust

 

8. The Principle of Self-Trust

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No matter what hardships, failures, and mistakes I may face, I always come back to myself and the principles that I stand as. I will not give up or allow myself to blame others for the circumstances of my life or how I choose to live it. I take absolute self-responsibility. ( source : (https://desteni.org/about-us/desteni-principles) 

It's virtually impossible to have any form of Self-Trust if I have not clearly define the the principles that I chose to stand as. The principles are stable, emotion and feelings are not. Once I have establish a stable reference point, I must then trust myself that I will do my best to live those principles , not out of belief, but out of common sense and understanding of the fact that living those principle will end my inner personal conflict. 

Once the guideline, have been establish, it's then easier to trust myself, because I have a measurable reference point and I can see if I am deceiving myself or not.

Now I can direct myself moment by moment and trust myself that I will do what I see as being best in every moment. My understand of what's best can still be limited in certain case, but that's where self-trust come in. I must within my current limited understanding trust myself and the best I can with what I have. When I find myself making mistake, I can learn lesson from them and move forward. 

Self-Trust is essential to move forward. It's ok to observe those who are more advance in their process and take advice from them, but at the end, I must be the one that direct myself. If I rely on any external force to move myself, I am not directing myself and give away my responsibility. In fact, I shouldn't never trust anyone else than myself, that would be stupid. As we move on, everyone will learn how to trust themselves and develop real integrity. Therefore instead, of asking to people to trust me, I rather show to them how to they can trust themselves. I like this audio from Bernard where he say that he is not interest of anyone trusting him, he is interested about people trusting themselves. That make sense ! 

Day 76 : 7. The Principle of Give as You Would Like to Receive

Considering the context and the lives of each individual being. Considering, regarding, and supporting them in the way that I would have liked to be considered, regarded, and supported had I been in their place and lived their life, where the support that I give does not compromise myself or cause harm to anyone. ( Source : https://desteni.org/about-us/desteni-principles) 


The way I lived this principle is that I put myself in the other person shoes like if it was me in another life. Based on the 8 stage of the process I can clearly see where the person is at, what they are ready to hear and what they need to hear. With that starting point in mind I will support that person as I would like to have been support where I was there. When I was delusional for example, I was grateful that someone confront me on this fact and lead me to be self-honest. Later on I was able to see how lying to myself was preventing me to changing for real.

So does give as I would like to receive mean that I will give a hug to every person that I met. Fuck no! I certain case a person will need a tap on the back, but in other case some person need a kick in the ass ( A wake up call). So I am not interested about offering people what they want, I am interested of offering them what they need. Because I am clear within the principle that I am standing for, it's easy to direct myself moment to moment to know what's the best thing to do in every situation. That's exactly how I would like to be treat. I don't want anybody to support my delusion, so I will not do that for anyone else. 

Of course it's a process, and I cannot be perfect on this from the start. But as I move on and learn from my mistake. 

On a collective level, the actual system is based on competition. It make it very hard to give as we would like to receive because we are all busy about our own survival. The ultimate way to give as I would like to receive will be to stand as a groups and change the system so we can cooperate with each other to create a better world for everyone.  Within the limitation of the current system, I can still do my best to create win win win situation.

Day 75 : 6. The Principle of Self-Awareness

An active reflection and seeing of what is happening inside myself - my thoughts, emotions, feelings, reactions, and understanding that I am at all times responsible for what I accept and allow and what I participate in and thus give my power and attention to. To realize that my words become deeds and thus the words I allow within become the actions and consequences I create without. ( source https://desteni.org/about-us/desteni-principles) 

I had an interesting experience with Self-Awareness. I always know about self-awareness, but I wasn't really able to lived it without really grasping it why. I remember when I read the books the power of now from Eckart Tolle, I realize that I could actually observe my emotions/feeling and thought. Even if I was aware of that, my mind was still in auto pilot and my level of self-awareness was still pretty low. In fact I had no idea how my mind was actually working. I had no idea where those thought/emotion/feeling was coming from. Since the consumerism have take over the world of personal development, reading some books and listening to some audio on the subject wasn't really helping. Everyone seems to have a different perspective about how the mind works, what's a thought etc. 

It's only when I have been expose to the Desteni tools that I start to actually understanding how the mind was created. The cool thing was that I didn't to believe anything, I could look up myself and see it first hand in the real world. As I started using the tools offer by Desteni, my self awarness start to increase to a level that I had never experience before. Having a higher level of self-awarness allowed me to take a greater level of self responsibility. It allowed me to change to the core. It allowed me to respond completely differently to the challenge of life. Now I can clearly see, that very few people can experience real self-awarness. I can see how Eckart Tolle students will be stuck their entire life. 

Being Self-Aware allowed me to see the lie that I have become. For the first time I started to see clearly how I have deceiving myself and other. I also to start how everyone else was deceiving and manipulating each other. It was crazy. I see the world for what it is : Absolute deception. It was a hard pill to swallow but the good news was that I had finally a way out. I have to walk in reverse. 

Day 74: 5. The Principle of Self-Responsibility

Living and applying my ability to respond within the realization that I alone am responsible for what I accept and allow inside myself, my relationships, and my outside world. Only I have the power and ability to change that which is compromising who I am, what I live, and how this affects others.( source : https://desteni.org/about-us/desteni-principles

The principle of Self-Responsibility is one of the most empowering concept I have ever been exposed to. The principle of self-responsibility implies that I am the only one that can create change in my life. For many years, I was convinced that I was taking responsibility for everything in my life. I didn't know how wrong I was. Even if I wasn't blaming anything outside of me and saying that I was taking responsibility for everything in my life, I was far from living it. Why? because I had no idea that I was really living the outcome of a pre-program design. Therefore, A higher level of responsibility imply that I must take responsibly for everything that I have accepted and allowed as a part of my structural programming. I must realize the outcome of a programming that is not considering all life. A programming that is based on survival will never have an outcome that is best for all life.I must realize that sooner or later, a collective programming based on self-interest will lead to our own annihilation.

What I end up realizing is that Self-responsibility is in fact a process. I must work on expanding my level of self-responsibility more and more every single day. I must investigate how I am limiting my responsibility and see how I can the highest level possible of responsibility in this world. Walking my own process is a way of expending, my level of responsibility, because it allow me to have a greater level of awareness of the consequence of everything that I say, do or even believe. I must then use the tool to change that fundamental programming for a programming that is the best for all life. That way, I will also benefits on a individual level as well, because by doing what's best, I end up the inner conflict within me.