Day 90 Believing in myself? WTF?

Tonight, I woke up around 3:00AM in the middle of the night and I wasn't able to fall asleep I check my phone to see what time it was and I saw a notification that Gian went live few hours ago. Since I wasn't able to sleep I chose to listen to it, since Gian always have some cool perspective that are supportive. 

Here's the video: https://www.facebook.com/gian.robberts/videos/705924044187181

In his video, Gian was talking about the fact that Bernard told him to believe in himself. When I heard that, I was even confuse, because once I start to investigate words 3 years ago, I remember pretty well the conclusion that I have drawn from redefining the word belief. 


Once I realize that a belief was something that we've accepted to be true, I make internally the decision that I would simply remove this word from my vocabulary. I mean why would I want to have beliefs if they're not real. That wouldn't be practical isn't?

I had been a believer for my entire life and that led me to complete delusion. That led me to hold back to things that wasn't real. 

So I was surprise to hear that. 

Then he explain that we have to use what's here and to understand the way we are programmed and use that to our advantage. 

The fascinating thing is that, I noticed that lot of people that have success in the system are believer. I remember one public speaker specifically which was a world class public speaker. He was also a believer. He shared that the reason why he became a speaker was because he had some kind of revelation from Jesus when he was young. 

I was astounded to see that this guy had a massive level of success even if his entire life was based on a delusion. 

I saw many many example like that, where people build their success based on their beliefs or simply believing in themselves. 

So how does that relate to my process. At some point, I came to the conclusion that it wasn't acceptable to believe anything or even believe in myself. 

Gian was explaining that it's good to have believe until you reach the point of understanding/living where you can actually share from your first hand experience. 

I can now clearly see the importance of this concept and the mistake that I have done within this. I tried to suppress the ''bridge'' that would lead me to real understanding/living. 

So obviously, I don't have to start to believe some random shit that is not practical, but starting to believe in myself, believe in my abilities and believe that I can do it is a pretty good foundation, until I can fully live that as my expression. 

So now I can see how I can practically use belief in a way that's best without losing myself in it. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that can use beliefs in a beneficial way 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not believe in myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist beliefs

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that beliefs can be a bridge that can potentially lead me to real understanding