Day 92: Reflecting on indifference

 Today, I catch myself having backchat about the overall indifference that I am observing from people in general. I then go into blame and I could see anger building up within myself. As I became aware of my backchat/reaction, I stop and bring everything back to myself in one moment to ask myself how I was participating in that pattern, because what I learn in the past years is that what I am blaming other for is generally what I refuse to see within myself. 

I could clearly see that my judgement towards others was actually self-judgment, because when I start to really look at it, there's so much more that I could actually do with my current set of skills, abilities and sphere of influences. Real care is not shown by intention, but by living our principle through our actions. So I was blaming other people for not caring, but in reality, I wasn't doing what I know I should do, so I start to look at what was wrong inside of me instead of facing that point within me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame other people for their indifference to distract myself from my participation within that point 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry as I was seeing other people being indifferent. 

When and as I see myself blaming other people for being indifferent I stop and breath 

I realize that that me blaming other people within that point was actually me distracting myself from seeing how I was participating in that point. 

I commit myself to live the word care. 

I commit myself to show through my actions that I do care.