For Context: It's been 8 months since I haven't made any public blog/vlog about my process. During that time, I was still walking my process: Working on my DIPpro, just recently complete the first year of my DIPpro and recently started my SRA2 and this is from my experience the most in advance in depth course, I have even been exposed to. The process of self-discovery is quite journey.
Many events happened between my last blog and now, and I found myself doing the bare minimum in term of writing. I wasn't writing consistently like I used to do at the beginning of my process. I was completely open about my process at the beginning, but once I started DIPpro, I stopped exposing myself. I was still working on a daily basis to become aware of my limitation, forgive them, Correct them and then live the change in real life. I have been able to overcome many points within the last fews months, but where's the record. On a subconscious level I start to be afraid to expose myself. Afraid to fall, afraid to be judge afraid that people would use the information in my blog against me, afraid to show my weaknesses to the world. And I was pondering about this... If I would die today, where would be the record between the 6JUNE2021 to today. Nothing that people can cross reference my process/change. By keeping myself isolated/hidden, I also give myself an escape route where it wasn't a big deal if I am not walking my process seriously for couple days, or weeks or even months. I mean who would know?
Now, I start have a glimpse of what it really mean to be self-honest. It's an ongoing process of uncovering all the layers of Dishonesty/Self-Dishonesty/Honesty
Also, as I started walking my DIPpro, I realize that most of my SF in my past blog wasn't actually real, it wasn't really effective. I felt in that way that it wasn't worth it to keep blogging publicly, if I wasn't fully effective. Now I can see that it didn't really matter because even if the structure wasn't perfect it always bring awareness to some extent to what's going on within myself and gave me the opportunity to start working on some point . So using wanting to be perfect as an excuse to not do something is just ego, because that's what the process of self-correction is all about, realizing where we make mistakes and correct them. What was my starting point anyway? Trying to prove to the world that I was doing good self-forgivness lol?
Now, as I am writing those words, the system is busy collapsing in front of our eyes. The war for the mind is here. People are more divided than ever and the elite is out of control. I noticed that most people have the ability to don't look at what's going on in reality. It's easier for them to operate in their everyday life when they don't have to look at the bigger picture. At some point in my life, I made the decision that I would always keep my eyes wide open on what's really going in this world. Right now it's not a pretty picture. In the last 2 years, I see more death, suicide, people forced intro poverty, division, starvation, suffering than ever. I've seen lives of people in my surrounding being completely destroyed.
The pressure become unbearable and people can't handle it, because of the ineffective programming that they received from the system.
It's quite obvious at this point that we are heading towards a world war, actually it's already started since many years : The war for the mind.
When I look back at my past year, I am wondering how much more I could have done, if I would not have allowed my limitation to hold me back. Now it's time to let it all go and to recreate myself as real being of integrity that stand and live the principles of life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to isolate myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that someone would judge my writing
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel judge
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to write with the starting point of trying to prove something to the world
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek approval in my writing
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I don't need to write to sort out point
When and as I see myself wanting to isolate myself and not expose myself, I stop and breath
When and as I see myself fearing being judge if I expose my writing, I stop and breath
When and as I see myself falling, I stop and breath
When and as I see myself fearing being judge, I stop and breath
When and as I see myself doing something with the starting point of proving something to the world, I stop and breath.
I commit myself to be more transparent
I commit myself to keep walking my process with the starting point of self-realization
I commit myself to when I fall, to stand up and keep going
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