Day 37 : 8 stage of the process part 3 of 8 ( Self-illusioner)

For context listen to the audio 8 stage of the process (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=su5FTMjG6jA&t=179s)

In this audio, Bernard explain that a Self-illusioner is someone who go throught life withtout questionning anything. They are doing what they have been taught. If there parents were christian, they are christian. So do do with their life what is require for them to do according to their education to be a good person in this  system. They are totally happy with the system. Because of this they cannot perceive the delusion from it.


From what I did observe so far, it's clear to me that the majority of people fall into that categories. The control of the media is nesserary to maintain people in that state. By controlling the information, they can make people beleive in a certain way and therefore lead them to live a illusionary life without daring question it.

Because their entire paradigm is based on beliefs( what they have been taught), they are not sincerely happy. Deep down they know that swomething is very wrong. Because beliefs are not based on truth, they are in a constant state of fear, doubt, uncertainty. If someone dare to question those believes that there existence is based on, they will fight you. Since a constant state of suffering come with that stage, it seems that they only way to get out is when a person will reach a point where the pain because so unbearable, that they are force to give up their illusion and move to the next step. Unfortunately, many people will never reach that point and live an entire life being a self-illusioner. I guess, the death is the point self honesty. There's no place for bullshit anymore when we are dying.

From my own experience. I have been in that stage in my early life. I was doing my best to follow the advice given by my parents and the society to try to fit in that society as "good person". I have been to college, with the purpose of getting a job and all the bullshit that follow. I always feel that something was very wrong with that world, but I was not able to identify what it was. It's the sudden death of one of my friend, that lead my entire illusionary world to collapse. The roadmap offer by that system was not making so much sense anymore. The path of go to school, get a job, retire was not making so much sense when I realize that I could suddenly die, every single day. When there's no more promise, no more guarantee, that's when the game is starting. If life is not that bullshit, what's life ?

I feel that I am out of the stage of Self-Illusioner, but it's not that simple. When we got out of one illusion, there's another one that come up. It's seems to me that at the moment, we think we have figured it out, we are fucked, because we are now at the mercy of another illusion. That's why I always stay curious, I keep investigating everything and even if I do mistake, I learn from them and move foward.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a Self-illusioner

I forigive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my illusion being challenge

I forigive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stop investigating

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not understand why people had so much resistance when their illusion was being challenge

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I had figured it out when in fact, my understanding of how reality really operate is very limited

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist when my illusion was challenged without realizing that I was trying to protect an irrational beliefs system.

Day 36 : 8 stage of the process part 2 of 8 ( Self-Loser)

For context, listen to the video the 8 stages of the process ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=su5FTMjG6jA)

Stage 2 : Self-Loser

In the video, Bernard explain that self-loser are those who have reach the pinnacle of deception. They realize that they was just harming other in what they where doing so they collapse in the system. They start participating in everything, they withdraw from society, they give up everything, they become a constant loser.  They see themselves as incapable of doing anything.

I love case this phase the "hippy phase" I have been there at some level. One of the major issues with that stage is that a person see how fucked the system is, but instead of putting themselves in a position where they can do something to change it, they start to reject every aspect of it. The issue is that we can not reject the system, since the this we are dependant from it. Without money, we cannot survive in this system. A perfect example of self-loser was Christopher Mccandless ( The movie Into the wild is about his biography) . He had this mental picture of how wonderful it would be to live alone in the bush in Alaska, but when he finally withdraw himself from society he died after less than 2 months. That's the main problem that Self-Loser are not able to see, we cannot withdraw ourselves from that system, that's why we need to change it. I also have the opportunity to discuss with many hippies that was complaining against the system, but they was totally comfortable about getting the free meal that was provide for the homeless that didn't have the chance to have enough education to get a job. How Ironic, those hippie was judging the people from being a slave of that system, but they was not seeing that their free meal was provide by the system in place they hated so much.

From my experience, the way I have experience that phase was to not realize that in this current system, money is the key factor to put myself in a position where I can create a significant change. I also had a phase where I had travel for months without really realizing what I was looking for. I was not happy with that system for sure, but it never came into my mind that I could do something about it.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that money is require to bring change in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a Self-loser

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that rejecting the system is a trap, because it put a person in a position where they rely even more on the system

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that even if this system is completely fucked, I am still dependant on it to survive. Therefore, since I can not withdraw myself from it, the only logical option remaining is to contributing to the best of my ability to change it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use travel as a way to withdraw myself temporary from the system

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I am the system

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am allowing this system to be the way it is

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear changing the system

Day 35 : 8 stage of the process part 1 of 8 ( Self-Deceiver)

For context, listen to the video the 8 stages of the process ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=su5FTMjG6jA)

I will make a series of 8 blog, where every blog will expand on my personal experience of me moving through those step and ending every blog by applying self-forgiveness on the point that I am still holding within me for each stage.

Stage one : Self-deceiver

The self-deceiver is those who design systems within which they have complete control and benefit from those system. In order to maintain their position of power, they have to control all the parameter that will make sure that the slave remain slave and the people on the top remain on the top.

let's look at few example.

Control of information : With the mass media, social media they are able to control the flow of information. They give the illusion of free speech, but when you start saying something that is going against the interest of their agenda, you are censored, discredit, throw in jail or even killed. The consequence of this is that people start believing in a way that maintain the system in place and serve their agenda. Since people are not aware of how the mind programming work, they think that their point of view is their, therefore they will protect that point of view that maintain the current system in place.

Control of money : In this system, money is require to survive. If you have the control over money, you control who live or die. In USA, the FED are the want that print money(Federal reserve note) whenever they feel the need to. That's sounds like absolute control to me.

Control of education : Even in that system where money is under control, there's still way for a person to earn more money and increase is possibility. To make this, an effective education is require. That's why they make sure they have the control on education. People that doesn't have enough money will not have any other option that sending their kid to public school. It's have been showed in study that kid are born a creative genius, but the education system dumb us down and suppress a person ability to think creatively enough to raise himself to a position of wealth. Phonics method have been remove from the school to make sure child are not really able to learn.

Control of food: Big companies have completely take over the control of food. They are now filling the grocery with food that is depleted from minerals and vitamins, loaded with toxic additive. Because most people have not receive an effective education, they fall in their marketing trap. The consequence of this is poor health, lack of energy etc. Not a very good position to create change in this world.

Control of energy: Gaz, price of electricity, natural gaz etc. are all under control by big companies and since we rely on those thing to survive, we have a very little power of negotiation about the price of those thing.

Control of travel: Travel is restricted more and more so people stay in their country and not expand their world on what's possible. Once a person see another culture, they can see through the programming of their own county.


Now the way I have to approach this point is to look within me and ask myself. What part of me have been a Self-Delusioner? In what situation did I have attempt to take advantage of someone consiously or subconsciously?

I can even take a look at where I put my money. When I buy a pair of shoes that have been made by a underpaid children in another country, I am not any better than the parasitical elite class that live from my labor. I have to be honest here and clearly see how I have allowed myself to be a self-deceiver


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I have never been a self-deceiver

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I was a better person than the self-deceiver on this planet

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the part of my that was parasitical

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take advantage of other people

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that in order to be able to change that system, I have to put myself in a position where I can change something and not just surviving.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the self-deceiver of this planet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the current system is only maintain in place by a collective agreement, therefore we are all responsible for that system of control because we are collectively allowing it to be the way it is.

Day 34: The fear of being wrong

Here's one point that I had to face this week.
I have realize that people's fear of being wrong will overide any common sense they could have.
It's probably the reason why it's so hard to change as a society.
Since the day we are born, our definition of what's right or wrong is programmed within us, and everything that's become a threat for those program that we have accepted and allowed by onself will trigger a survival response. 

People will violently protect their point of view or oppinion even if they are completely irrational. Unfortunetaly, this is not without concequence. All those oppinions, point of views are dividing us, because we have never take the time to define any guideline on a collective level.

If we would set the guideline of what's best for all as a way to direct ourselve, we would eliminate almost every debate, because at the end every debate is about oneself trying to protect their own self-interest. The ironic thing with this is that in a world that is best for all our self interest would be fulfill anyway.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the concequence of my points of views.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create separation between me and other human being because of a conflict of oppinions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to no realize that right or wrong will always generate friction and therefore create more suffering on this planet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to no realize that when you truly know something, you don't feel the need to protect it. Therefore, everything I feel threaten, I should look at what's beLIEfs I am holding on to and be willing to challenge those programmed beliefs.

Day 33 : The status quo

As I am interacting other people, I notice a point that came very often.
Most people have came to love the status quo.
They love it so much that they will protect it at all cost.
Even if the consequence of our global status quo are a complete disaster, everybody just want to maintain things the way they are.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the status quo is maintain by social pressure

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being criticize for standing up and speaking up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that people are programmed to not change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when people are attacking my oppinions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that people will hold and protect their opinions because their sense of identity is attach to it, therefore being wrong could mean losing a part of who they are. 

Day 32 : Responsible for what's happening within me

The first time, I heard about take 100% responsibility for anything and everything in my life, I had no idea how profound this concept was.

In my mind, I was thinking I was taking responsibility for everything, but it wasn't the case at all.

I haven't realize that real responsibility is implies what is happening within me. Every thought, Every emotion, Every feeling.

How could I pretend being responsible if I am not even aware of the consequence of my thought/emotion/feeling that run on autopilot.

I think responsibility probably start by at least becoming aware of the dysfunction within me. If those thing are the result of years of programming imprinted during the first 7 years of my life, it's my responsibility to deconstruct that programming, by using the tools and process that have been proven to work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was taking 100 % responsiblity for my life without considering what was happening within me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking responsibility for my thought, emotions and feelings

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I can not be responsible for everything if I am a slave from my mind.

Day 31 : Seeking pleasure until we die

Why it is so hard for people to stand up and become an active part of the creation of a world that is best for all.
Every human being that have not completely give up their common sense can agree that everyone would benefit from a world that is best for all. So why people want to stay in denial ?

Its seems to me that the answer to that question is : Fear of death.

I have hear that statement thousands of time : life is shot so we must live it to the fullest.

Unfortunately the definition people have about living to the fullest doesn't really connect with what life really is. When people reffer about living to the fullest, they always reffer at " ganing pleasure" . And there's limitless way to came to this end. Alcool, drugs, buying stuff, travelling, spirituallity, positivie thinking, junk food etc.

All those thing are at different level detrimental to life, because the whole is never consider. It's always about how much pleasure I can extract from those thing.

And because the clock is ticking, there is no time to lose, we have to hurry up so we can accumulate as most a pleasurable experience before we die.

The ironie of this is that doing those thing have concequence.

Drugs, alcool and fast food fucked the physical body

Buying stuff that we can not afford can lead use to massive debts that will produce huge amount of stress that is also detrimental for the physical body

spirituality and positive thinking are generally a form of denial that lead to passivity.

The traveler Junky is not able to face the "boring" real life so he will always seek the next fix like a heroin addict.

And because all those attemps to feel pleasure are lead by self interest, the concequence on a global scale are : the destruction of our ecosystem, pollution, exploitation of other human being, animal cruelty

All of this, so we can our fix of pleasure.

As we can see we have all been misled. We can also see that the long therm concequence if we keep moving in that direction will be a complete disaster.

Is that the legacy we want to leave to our children ?

Of course not!

Can you immagine being fill with regret on your death bed, knowing that you had the opportunity to do something significant with your life, but you failed to take that chance because you rather seeking pleasure.

Guess what creating a world that is best for all can be a very gratifing pleasurable experience. You can have it all. Doing the right thing and get the pleasurable feeling. When have nothing to lose to move towards a world that is best for all. We have everything to lose in a life of self-interest. Self interest is a path of eternal fear and misery. Don't the choice seems obvious to you ?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek pleasure without having a complete awareness of the concequence of that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that a world that is best for all is just the logical thing to do so everyone can have a pleasurable existence

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that moving toward a world that is best for all can be a pleasureable process, therefore, I am not really giving up anything by moving toward that path.

Day 30 : Justification as a way to avoid real change

We it's time to face ourselves as the role we play on a individual level or on a collective level, we often have a tendency to reject our responsibility.

Many expression reflect that denial of our responsibility.
It's not my fault
I am this way because of this
I am this way because of my parent
It's just the way it is
etc.

Unfortunatelty, there's abomination that are going on on this planet right now, and as long as we don't take 100 % reponsibility to bring that change it's not gonna happen.

When we look at history, even some awesome guy that bring great message of equality have failed to create real change in this world. In fact things are just getting worse and worse.

Why ?

Because nobody want's to take responsibility for bringing that change. In most case, the message remain a message. Let's take health for example, it most case, people will wait to get a life threatening disease before they start doing the right thing to be healthy.

We have the same fucking primitive mentality when it's about our planet. We see that there's no future for us if we keep doing the same fucking thing, but we remain in denial and just postponed the consequence of our actions until our own life is threatened.

So we came to value our own life more than other people life. People are dying everyday and we have become insensitive to that because we don't want those thing to distract ourselves from our pursuit of happiness ( Or the trap of eternal insasisfaction).

It's almost like if we would have reduce our entire life to try to accumulate as most pleasure as we can until we die.

That trap prevent us to stand up and do something significant with our life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take 100 % responsibility for the consequence of my action on a individual and collective level.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in denial about the suffering that is going on around me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that my life was more valuable than other people life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that if nobody stand up and live the principle of equality, nothing gonna change. Therefore, I have to stand up and walk my own process to inspire people in my surrounding to start standing up to, by using the simple equation of 1+1=2

Day 29 : I don't want to write a blog today

The reason why I am writing this blog is because I don't want to do it.

What I recently realize is that when we don't feel like doing something, this is generally the thing we should do.

By writing that blog, I chose to overcome the resistance within me. I chose to not let that resistance direct my decision to change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my inner resistance prevent me from doing what I know I should do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone what I should do because I my mind convince me that "I don't feel like" was an acceptable reason.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lie to myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make excuse

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that because I don't want to do something doesn't mean that I should not do it.

Day 28 : The trap of following our feeling

It take my a while to figure this point out, but since I did I experience unprecedented clarity.

In the world of personal development, there's a huge misconception that lead many people to a life of misery and confusion.

There's many teacher that say that if we want to get what we want in life, we should follow our feeling, or listen to our feeling. The feeling is always right.

The things is that almost none of them really know where does feeling come from.

One time one guy that I highly respect teach me that I can not trust my thought, I can only trust my feeling.  He explain that our thought are " wrong" and will deceive us, but our feeling are always "right" so we can follow them.

Since a feeling is a reaction to a thought, and the thought is fucked and deceiving me, that's mean that following my feeling is as misleading than following my thought.

What a liberation, but now how do I know if I am on the right tract?

Overtime, I found what' work for me.

Self-Honesty : Instead of trying to follow or listen to thought or feeling within me, I can take an honest look at what's happening within me.

Common sense: Instead of relying on thought and feeling, I can always look from the perspective of common sense. How to make sure that my vision of common sense is not corrupt ? By looking at it from the ultimate point of common sense : Is what I am doing or not doing is best for all or not?

Self-Responsibility : If something take the responsibility out of me, this is not to my benefit. If it's "increasing" my level of responsibility, it is to my benefit.


By using those tool as self-guidance, I am way more stable than trying to follow my feeling.

Many teacher say to follow our bliss. From my perspective it's misleading. Bliss experience as one extreme of the polarity will lead a person to feel completely empty and depressed. If you trow something in the air, it will eventually go down and hit the ground.

I think real bliss can only be experienced by having absolute certainty that you are doing the right thing.

And by right I mean : Best for all of us !

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow my feeling

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that following my feeling keeping me in an endless cycle of suffering/pleasure

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I can not trust my feeling since they are a part of my mind construct system that is completely fucked

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not knowing how to direct myself effectively in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that real self-responsibility is also to take responsibility for what's happening within me.


I commit myself to be aware of my though/emotion/feeling and bring my awareness back on something real like my breath instead of being lead by energetic impulses generate by the body.

Day 27 : Mistake are just miss take

We have all done thing in the past that we wish we would have make them differently. Sometime the concequence of thoses things that we have done are still affecting our life.We perceive those things as mistake. Almost like something bad we did.We call them mistake.A mistake could be define as : "an action or judgment that is misguided or wrong."

When we feel that we have done something wrong in the past, we feel stuck in the present, because we are always affraid to make another mistake. What we don't realise is that mistake are in fact only miss take. If we take a child that learn how to walk. Do you think that he perceive the fact of falling as a mistake ? No he learn from, try again, fall again, learn from it, try again etc.

He repeat that process until he successfully walk. Why that child never give up ? Because he fall he didn't perceive that as a mistake.

Consider this statement from one of the greatest hockey player of all time : " You miss 100 % of the shot you don't take" - Wayne Gretzky

He have score more goal than many other player, but what very few people talk about is the fact that he also miss more shot than most of the hockey player.

So the point is that he was not affraid to take a shot. He wasn't feeling bad when he take a shot and didn't score. He was instantly focus on the  next shot he would take.

Imagine if we could have that kind of attitude with the our mistake in life. If we could start perceiving them as a miss take, we would be able to remove all the guilt, remorse, shame or other emotion attach to it. This would allow ourselve to keep "taking shot". In another word, keep moving foward no matter how much "mistake" we have made in life.

I have personnally make  many mistake in my life and there's many of them that I am far from being proud of. One thing is sure, I can not go back in the past and fix them, but what I can do is seeing those mistake as a part of a growing process that lead me where I am today in a place where I can now have a real sustainable impact on this world if I chose to. I think the only real mistake that a person could do is to stop trying because of fear of making a misstake, because when we stop acting because of fear of making mistake, failure is guaranteed.

In order to create a world that is best for all, we can not let the mistake of the past hold us back. Yes we will keep doing mistake in the process, but if we are self-honest about them, they could be a great opportunity to remove layer from the mind and moving towards self-perfection. Therefore, every mistake from now will be welcome.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making mistake

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that mistake are in fact miss take

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that making mistake is a part of the growing process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that if I don't take action because of fear of making mistake, I am sure that I will failed, therefore, it worth giving it a try

Day 26 : The resonant seed of my life

For context listen to the audio The resonant seed from Benard Poolman. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=om3hbaqO_cs

My understanding of this particular audio is still limited by my level of vocabulary, but I was still able to grasp some very significant points

When I listen to that video, I was blown away by the explanation that Bernard give to the group about what time and events are in reality.

He explain that in a seeds, everything is pre-program. A seeds contain all the events that will unfold through time. 

He then explain that we as human are pre-program, by the genetics we receive from our parents ( the sins of father of the last 7 generations.

From my current understanding, after the first 7 years of the child, the pre-program is complete and the rest of a person life will be as predictable as the future of a plant.

And even if we think we have free will, we are all driven by our unconsious and subconsicous behaviour  anyway. What we think is free will is in fact the illusion of free will since we are trapped in that programming.

If the programming of the last 7 generations was fucked, we are pretty fucked too.

If we hold within our genetic baggage 7 generations of crap, we have a great clean up to do. When we look at the grand scheme of think 7-14 years is not a big deal if it's allowed us to get rid of 7 generations of condemnation.

This audio remind me one particular scene in the trilogy The matrix. Neo, had to make a successions of decisions to be able to met the architect and fulfill the prophecy and end up the war between the man and the machine.

To his amazement, the architect explain to him that every single one of decision was preprogram to lead him where he was at that moment. The fact that he was here at that moment was showing that none of his decision was the product of free will. Even when he chose the red pill, that was pre-program too.

What that audio from Bernard show to me is that every decision that I have make and not make in my past was also predictable.

The great news is that my pre-program have lead me into a place of self-honesty where the real change can start. It's sad to notice that many people destini are to die in denial.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I was pre-program
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that everything in nature is pre-program
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that since I am pre-program, I don't really have free will
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that every decision I have made or not made was a reflection of my pre-program
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that pre-program need to be understood and adress in order to create real change.   

Day 25 : We are all going through shit

Few weeks ago, I had a call with a group of people that stand within the principle of creating a world that is best for all. The host of the call ask us 2 question. I don't remember the exact questions, but it was looking like this
1. What is going well in your life ?
2. What challenge are you currently facing ?

Every member talk about one great realization they had during the week, but then they talk about the challenge they where facing.

There's nobody on the call that didn't mention that they weren't facing any challenge.

After everybody had talk, the host of that call ask us if we realize something as we all hear about everyone challenge.

He then explain that  point : Everyone is going through shit, including myself.

I found that point to be very significant. Here's why.

We all have a mental image of what a great life look like.
Here's few example.

An happy marriage
A successful businessman
A successful athlete
A multi-milionaire
A person who seems to be happy all the time
A president
A successful lawyers
An happy family
Etc.

All those thing are just images created in our mind. And by trying to achieve those thing that doesn't really reflect the reality of how thing is really going on, we are on a path of eternal dissatisfaction.

Even if some people are really good at projecting those images, we never really see what's going on behind the curtain.

And since we are all going through shit, why are we not honest about it ?

The social pressure have become so unbearable that a huge amount of energy is require to maintain that fake image in order to fit in that society.

But, here's the problem. Since we are all playing that game of image projection, there's no way we can support each other since we are all lying about what's really going on inside of us.

That's completly fucked.

And because we are in a competitive environment,  we cannot show our weakness, because another person could take advantage of it and use that to destroy us.

How stupid can we be ?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that success was real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that real success should be measure by " does what I am doing is bringing a world that is best for all or not"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the image of success is created by the society, but what society define as success rarely consider life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that real success is going towards equality and not becoming more than other

I forgive myself to not realize that real success make sure that everyone win

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I can redefine success in a way that is best for all, therefore still doing whatever it take to become as successful as I can in this life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that everyone is going through shit

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel less than other when I am going through shit

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself when thing are not going well in my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to no realize that when thing are not going well in my life, I have a great opportunity to face the resistance within me.
 

Day 24: A dream in a dream

In the movie Inception, there's one particular scene that is very interesting. One of the character is awaken from a dream. He then think that what he is experiencing is his real life. After touching the carpet on the floor he realize that he was just in another dream. The first dream was a dream within the second dream.

Now let's see how this concept seems to apply in real life.

When we are asleep we are facing a fascinating world. Our mind is generating that dream world. The fascinating thing is that even if that dream world is not real, it does affect the body in reality. While we are living this movie in our head. Our blood pressure can raise, our breath can change, our muscle can become tense. I remember few years ago, I had awaken from a dream completely drained and exhausted.

Have you ever awaken while you where dreaming and founding yourself thinking : "thanks god that what just a dream ". But are you really awaken.

Here's the fascinating thing­. Even when we are "awake" we are still remaining in our mind all day long. We are living character created in our mind, we are judging everyone and everything around us in our mind, we are making scenario of hope and fear in our mind.

None of that is real, but it's still affect the physical body like when we are dreaming while we are asleep. The body respond to a real threat the same way that he respond to a threat we create in our mind.

When we look at this, we are not really awake. Since we are still in an imaginary world created in our mind, we are still dreaming. It seems to me that when we are asleep it's just another layer of that dream world we are creating in our mind. It's a dream in a dream.

When I look at the consequence of every human living in their dream world of self interest, what I realize is that the dream we have collectively created is a fucking nightmare.

So what's the solution. Since constantly living in our mind seems to be the issue. I guess that deconstruct the mind layer by layer is the solution so we can find our freedom again.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I was living in dream world created by my mind even when I am physically awake

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my dream world separate myself from what is real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that living in dream world is increasing suffering on this planet

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny the physical world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I am asleep, I am just in a deeper layer of my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that there's no escape. The only way out to that nightmare is to deconstruct the mind by walking a proven process. 

Day 23 : The astonishing liberation of living in equality

When I first heard about equality, it was just a mental concept for me.
I don't really see the point of living in equality, because in my mind equality was to become less that I was already was.

I haven't realize at that time, that this feeling of superiority was in fact an illusion created by the mind. It was just a character that was keeping me divided from other people.

At some point, I heard an audio from Bernard Poolman explaining that self-perfection was to move towards equality and not self-betterment.

That's when I realize that my path of Self-Betterman was just a trap. A trap that was only increasing my feeling of separation with other and therefore adding more suffering to this world.

How could I have been so blind.

That realisation, hit me to my core. That day, my perception of the entire world have completely shifted. Equality was not a mental concept anymore. I was becoming aware that I was in fact equal and one with every human being on this planet. With that new understanding, I realize that I am not more than anyone, and I am not less than anyone.

I am equal to greatest and most powerful human being on this planet.
I am equal to the worse human being on this planet.

Even if I can still catch myself judging other in my mind, I quickly realize that this judgement is totally inapropriate. There's no place for judgement in equality. Judgement can be transmute into compassion and support for other.

Understanding that I was equal with other, was one of the most incredible liberation, I have ever experienced Why ?

Because when you don't feel superior to anyone, you don't have nothing to lose. You don't have to protect that superior character, that is constantly threatened

When you stop feeling less than other, you can see that we are all equaly worthy.

When equality will be understood and lived by 7 billions peoples, the outcome can be nothing less than heaven on earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear equality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that self-betterment was preventing myself to experience equallity

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that being equal was meaning become less

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that if I don't live in equality, I will always be in inner conflict

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel that I was more than other people

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel that I was less than other people

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that feeling less or more than other people is an illusion created by the mind experienced as a fake character.

I forgive myselt that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that equality is just common sense. 

Day 22: Blind to the obvious

When we stop for a second and we take the time to take a look at what's going on around us. We can clearly see the mess we are creating in this world. One of the biggest issues is that we keep lying to ourselve about it. Let's take pollution for example.

We are generated huge amount of waste every single day.
What are we doing with that waste ?We bury it into the grounds.

We clearly know that the majority of that waste will take thousands of years to decay.

Even if all know that very well, we keep producing more and more waste.

The population also keep increasing. 1 billion human have been added to the planet since the day I am born.

So more and more human are adding more and more waste, and we keep buries it into the grounds.

What do we all expect as a results of such a retard behaviour ?

Since we all have a tendency to denial, here's a clue, we are in our way to transform this planet into a huge dump.

That's only one concequence of the current money system that is based on competition.

Since there's no money to make to clean up that mess and find effective way to live without destroying the ecosystem that we are all reliant to, nobody wants to do it because we are all needing money to survive.

If you can't see how fucked this is, you have blind yourself to the obvious.

If the money system doesn't change, we will sooner or later face the concequence of our denial. Is that the legacy that we want to leave to our children ?

Not let's bring this one point further. Let's imagine, that reincarnation would exist. Would you like to came back on this earth and live into a guigantic dump?

Would you think, that since nobody have stand up to change that system, that we would may be deserve such a crappy destiny ?

We still have the opportunity to reverse the damage that we have create on this planet. We even have the opportunity to create heaven on earth.But if we want thing to change, we have to be willing to change.

And guess where the change start ?

The change start with yourself
The change start with myself
The change start with ourselve

We are all in the same boat.

It's collectively that we have create this mess, it's collectively that we will fix it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid the concequence of my action

I frogive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to close my eye on the concequence that we have created in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing at the concequence of my action

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that inaction also create concequence

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that standing up to change this system is not an option anymore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that we all have to take responsiblity for the concequence that we have created individually and collectively

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that some people will stand up when they will see some people leading by example. Therefore one person can lead another person to lead themself by applying the simpliest equation 1+1=2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that this system can be change, when it fact it's obvious that it can be done one person at the time. 

Day 21 : Be willing to be wrong

We all find ourselves debating from time to time.
When we really look at what a debate really is we can clearly see that there's something really dysfunctional about it.
The ego will do everything to be right.
A debate between 2 person are in fact 2 egos that are afraid to be wrong and defending there position.
If we would have common sense, the debate would be completely different.
If starting point of a debate would be to determine what's best for all, we could take information from both side of the coins and mutually agree on what's best based on real fact instead of trying to protect irrational beliefs.

Here's an example. 2 person are debating about health. One person believe in the current medical model, the other person believe in the natural cures.

The first person argument could look like : The current medical model is the leading edge of medicine and natural remedies are ineffective scam. If you believe in natural cures, you are a hippie.

The second person argument could look like : The current medical model is completely corrupt and it is design to make us sick. Natural cures do work, you are just to brainwashed too see it, because the information is suppress by the media.

Then the debate is starting. They will both violently defend their position without listening to the other person point, because their oppinion could be a threat to their paradigm.

If we would look at this debate from the perspective of trying to find what's best for all, the debate would look like this. Let sit together and investigate what's working in the medical model and what's not working. Let's investigate what's working, and what's not working in the natural cures. They let's together agree on what is best for all.

Notice that I have use the word "what's working" instead of "what's good" because what's good have a tendency to direct a person toward an opinions. What's working can be observed through number, and life experience for example.

They could end up realizing that a blend of of the medical model and the natural model would an approach that is best for all.

The problem right now, is that it is very hard to get the real data, because of our current money system based on competition. This system need to be change so, no corruption would be needed in order to survive. In a money system that value life, the health care system would radically shift. From what I have observe so far, I think that a disease free planet would even be possible overtime.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to debate

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that debates are dividing each other and prevent us to move forward towards a world that is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that people in power use debate to divide population to maintain their power

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to reject other people points of views without even considering it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid to be wrong

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that being wrong was a threat to my survival, when in fact it is just a fake identity created by my mind that is afraid to be wrong.  

Day 20 : Ostrich effect and positive thinking

What does ostrich when they feel are afraid ?
They buries their head in the sand.
That way they are not aware of the danger anymore, so they can maintain their fake sens of security.
In reality, they put themselves in greater trouble.  If they would face the treat, they would have a better chance to survive, because they could respond appropriately to the situation.

Did you hear that "positive thinker" ?

While you avoid the "negative" and focus only on the "positive" those who are leading the current system, are  laughing at you, like a predator would laugh of an ostrich that buries his head in the sand when they are about to be eaten. In our case, the people in control of this system will not eat you, but they will extract every single dollars they can from you until you die.

Let be clear, positive thinking will not fix this system. Denial is not an option anymore! It's about time that we stop bullshitting ourselves with that junk.

Will you buries your head in the sand this time or will you keep reading ?

We have serious issues on this planet right now. Unfortunately, almost nobody is willing to stand up because we are all too much busy pursuing an mental conception of happiness, that have been created for profit as explain in the documentary the century of the self.

Do you want to know how to be happy? Acknowledge the state of the world, stand up and start doing something about it. And one last point, stop trying to be happy.

 When you will KNOW you are doing the right thing, you will find yourself feeling better about yourself than ever.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I am in denial about what's going on, I am as stupid as an ostrich that buries his head in the sand in the face of danger

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that positive thinking is denial

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize  that I will never be able to deal with something, if I am in denial about it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that positive thinking is maintaining the current system in place

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to close my eye on the injustice of this planet

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that positive thinking is increasing the feeling of separation, therefore create more misery on this planet


* After writing this I wonder why in the world an ostrich would do that. I have done some research and realize it's a myth. So to the light of this new information, I can confirm that ostrich are way smarter than the human to deal with a threat. I have leave the blog unchanged so you can clearly get my initial point.  Here's the explanation of where the myth come from. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKoTi7Roxso

Day 19 : Take responsibilty for what's happening within me.

This week, I have learn something very significant about responsibility. I realize that taking responsibility is not just for what is happening outside of me, the most important part is  to take responsibility for what's happening within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the conflict that I have within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that this conflict that I have inside of me is the accumulation of what I have acccepted and allowed. Therefore, removing all those layers will take time consistency.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing this conflict within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that this conflict could be eliminate through knowledge.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I can only beat the ego through breathing, never by knowledge.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that breathing bring me back here and now in the physical, in the real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my mind to fucked me up.

Day 18 : are we all possess ?

When we think about the word possess, we all have the classic image of a young girl that is possess by the devil.

When we look at the outside appearance that is pretty scary. It's in fact pretty scary that an entity could take a control of our physical body and control our life.

Fuck ! that's exactly what my mind is doing !

Before we continue, let define possess.

There's few definition, but here's the one I am looking for

 

(of a demon or spirit, especially an evil one) have complete power over (someone) and be manifested through their speech or actions.

"she was possessed by the Devil"

synonyms:

take control of, have power over, take over, have mastery over, cast a spell over,

 

That is fascinating, we are all fucking possess. We all have a voice in our head that speak all day long ( call thinking) that judge, criticize, and tag everything around us. That thinking direct what we say and do. It does seem that I have any kind of control of that thinking. It's almost like if it was an entity.

 

Is it me ? I don't think so. Therefore, my mind have possess me. 

 

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am possess by my mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that if I want to become a directive force into my life, I need to deconstruct the mind layer by layer trough consistent application of  a proven process.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that since we are all possess, real interaction between human being are very rare. It's more 2 mind interacting with each other.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that this entity ( thought/emotion/feeling) is not who I am. 

I commit myself to work consistently to deconstruct my mind.

Day 17 : Doing our best is not enough, we have to do what is require

Well I do my best!
I hear that expression all the time, but what most people don't realize is that they use that expression as a justification , to not created change whitin themselve or in this world

What's really hiding behind that expression is I do my best so it's not my fault if I don't get the outcome.

Here's few example.

I did my best to raise my children, so if they are struggling in life, this is their fault
I did my best to stay healthy so if I am sick it's not my fault
I did my best to change, but I have not been able to.

The issue here is that our best is in fact an oppinion that is limited by our programming.

So how do we fix that ?

We need to stop doing our best, and start doing what's require.

So we need to look at those point with a new perspective.

What is require to raise child so they can reach their greatest potential?
What is require to be healthy?
What is require to change?

When we have identify what is require, then we have to take responsibilty to apply it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that in order to change, doing my best is not enough, I need to do what is require.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that in order to create a world that is best for all, we need to collectively do what is require.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that saying that doing our best is limited by our programming, therefore doing my best will not create an outcome that is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that doing my best was enough

Day 16 : does equality would end diversity ?

When I heard about the concept of equality for the first time, I feel some resistance building within me because in my mind equality was linked to conformity.

Of course it was the results of my programming. When I started investigate this point, I realize that in our current system, we are in a society of conformity.

There's 2 aspects of this.

1. The conformity created by the fear of our neighbour. We are so afraid of being perceive as less than other people in our surrounding, that we are conforming to what the society expect us to be to fit in that fake mold created by the "image maker"

2. The conformity impose by law. If people find flaw in the system, the elite in place keep adding more law so they can maintain their status.

 As I realize that the system we currently are living in is extremely repressive, I also realize that equality would  end conformity.

In an equal world, fear would have no reason to exist, so if we don't fear our neighbour, this would end up conformity, that is created by that fear.  Every person could be themselves instead of being what the society expect them to be.

About the law, we would not need that much law in a world that is best for all since basically all crime are related to a lack of money or  a fucked education that is often related to a lack of money. Instead of law, we could have collective agreement based on the principle of best for everyone. How someone  could oppose himself to what is best for all ? A person that value his life more than other people life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that our system based on competition created conformity

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a world of equality and oneness would end diversity

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that a world of based on the principle of equality would allow every human being to express who they really are, instead of being a fake character created by the mind to survive in a society based on competition

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my life is equally valuable than every human being life.