Day 85 : Alcohol, Chistmas, New year and fighting the mind demon

Around mid October, I have make the decision that I would stop drinking alcohol for 3 months. When I was on a trip in Texas, I was chatting with someone that is very advanced in her Desteni process and walk herself the point of stopping alcohol. I didn't had a hard time to stop drinking during those 3 months because I was focus on multiple project and moving forward with my business. When I shared with her my process of stopping for 3 months, she suggest to me to stop for an entire years. When she suggest that to me, the addiction programming really kicked in and I had massive amount of resistance. The backchat immediately start to come up. '' 1 years, are you crazy, I don't want to stop one year, Christmas is coming, I cannot not drink at Christmas! I love drinking, I don't want to give it up for so long, I want to be able to drink a cup of wine if I go on a date, fuck this, I don't want to give up drinking a refreshing cold IPA during the next summer etc. 

When she look at how I react, she say that it was now clear to her that it must be the point that I must give up in order for me to unlock all the other points that I am suppressing. When I was looking myself with self honesty, I was able to see that she was right. I could clearly saw how this addiction was holding me back in many area of my life. In 2020 I have push myself beyond my limitation. I have push through my preprogramming to some extent, and when I step out of my preprogramming in some case I will experience massive resistance. When I have successfully walked through it, I did experience permanent change to some extend, but what I realize is that in some case, instead of pushing through that resistance, I used alcohol to try to get a release from my mind. So instead of facing the point, I was pushing on the reset every single time and therefore failed to change the programming. 

So in self-honesty, I knew I changed a lot, but how much more could I change if I would fully walk through that resistance instead of using alcohol to release myself from it. The thing is that the issue was way deeper than I thought 

After she saw my reaction, she suggest me to read 2 blogs from creation journey to life.  
http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/01/day-284-alcohol-drugs-and-demon.html
http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/01/day-285-alcohol-drugs-and-demon.html

In those blogs, Bernard explain that during our entire life we create what he call a ''suppressed personality''. That suppressed personality is like an entity/mind demon made of suppressed energy. When we drink alcohol it activated that entity. We are virtually possessed by that mind demon. 

That was painful for me to read and I REALLY resist those blog. Here's why. It's only when I was drinking that I was fully feeling ''myself''. What I was thinking to be myself was just an energetic entity made of suppressed energy. What a shock for me to realize that I never really experience myself as who I really am. As I start to observe other people around me getting drunk, I realized that I was not alone in this. People become virtually possessed when they are drunk. I can see a complete shift in their behavior that's no different at all than the kind of possession that we can see in the movie. 

In completely honesty even knowing all of that, I still didn't want to stop. The mind kicked in again, the backchat, the emotional reaction, the physical reaction etc. But who the fuck is talking? me or a fucking mind demon made of suppressed energy ? 

It's then become quite obvious that having an entity within myself made of suppressed energy wasn't my optimal situation. The other thing that become obvious was that I couldn't deal with that if I would keep drinking because otherwise I would just keep repeat the same cycle. 

Anyway, mid December came and I complete my 3 months challenge, but I didn't celebrate by getting drunk. I didn't really notice, because I was focus on project, but them Christmas came. 

Now for me spending Christmas with my family was a massive trigger generator. They had wine during the dinner, some of the best beers during the evening, some of the finest liquor. 

People offering me drink and beer, I had to decline over and over again even if my body was fucking craving it. I could smell the aroma of the IPA from their glasses. That trigger various memories within myself. Just to pain the picture, I cannot go and barricade myself in a room and do self-forgiveness, it's Christmas, so I stay there with them and I fight against my own mind demon. Then at some point, I get a bit bored. I know that drinking alcohol would allow me to relax and have fun, but I make the decision that I would not drink. I ended up getting over being bored. At some point we play some board game and I had a great time. That physical activity allow myself to get out of my mind. The interesting thing is when it's getting late and I see everyone totally drunk, I don't have any desire to be like them anymore. They process things very slowly, they can barely have a conversation, they are very emotional for stupid stuff etc. I can now see the mind demons in other people. And for the first time in that evening, I feel quite good about myself for not getting drunk. 

The day after, while everyone was hangover, I was alert and I was working on some project that I am passionate about. Stuff that actually matter. 

I had to walk through that experience 4 times during Christmas and the New years party. I wish I could tell it was easier and easier. It wasn't. The alcohol programming is so engrained within me that the same pattern repeat itself every single party. Because I started DIPpro, I could understand clearly the connection between the triggers and how it was manifesting in my conscious/subconscious/unconscious mind. 

Now I have the tool so I can work through it. Since this is a big point for me, I will need to dig deeper. Because not drinking is surface stuff, I need to use the tools to expose all that stuff that I have suppressed within myself over the last 30 years. 

Now let's do a bit of SF 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that alcohol was allowing to be myself when in fact was I thought was myself was in fact a mind demon made of suppressed energy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist quitting alcohol 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that my life would miss something without alcohol 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear giving up alcohol 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate excitement with alcohol 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that my life would be boring without alcohol 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use alcohol to get a release from my mind without realizing that I was just in fact postponing the problem by doing a mind-reset 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use alcohol to avoid discomfort

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use  alcohol to feel alive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how much alcohol fuck with my physical body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drink to generate mental energy instead of focusing on creating real value in this world 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny the consequence of alcohol on the physical body 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that in order to sort out that suppressed energy within myself, I must stop drinking long enough so I can really face those point

When I find myself craving alcohol, I stop and breath

Day 84: We can't go back, let's move forward

2020 is coming to an end. For most people that was the year where everything collapse. For me that was the year that accelerate my individual process. As everything start to collapse around me, I had 2 options. Collapse with the system, or stand as a self-leader as living example of integrity. At some point it was quite obvious that the elite would not back up this time. We all have secretly the desire that everything will go back to normal, just like that by magic. Unfortunately, it's time more than ever to give up all hope. 

I have make the decision to give up hope around 1 years ago. From a certain perspective, it was hard to give it up, because once you give up hope you must take responsibility for absolutely everything in this world. The poverty, the abuse, the violence and all the horrible stuff that's happening in this world in the name of self-interest. How could a single human being could handle that much responsibility? 

Even if I didn't feel that I could do anything about any of those global problem, I knew one thing. I knew that it was possible for an individual to change. I see so many people using the Desteni tool really changing their life and I had my own experience to know first hand that human nature can change. So hope was no longer a strategy. 

There's this old concept that say that : With great power comes great responsibility. What people never want to talk about is the fact that we have no power to change anything without taking responsibility. Everything is in reverse. With great responsibility comes great power ! 

So I should never be afraid to take more responsibility. The ''pandemic'' really give me the opportunity to do so. 

Now more than ever it's easy to '' give up my life'' or in another word '' giving up my self-interest'' it's easier to focus on what really matter. 

If I still postponed standing up, walking my process, and become a living example of integrity, I cannot complain about the outcome. The elite are not afraid of responsibility, that's why they are able to direct virtually everything in this world. If I keep walking my process and I proof to myself that I can be trusted with power and influence, I should not be afraid to become equal to them so I can be in a greater position of directing this world towards what's best for all life. Therefore I must embrace responsibility. If I can't handle it, I must change so I can handle more because time is running out. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I must move fast

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that thinking that I have more than enough time to change the system was a form of hope where I wasn't willing to take absolute 100% self-responsibility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking more responsibility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear giving up my self interest

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself to take more responsibility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that if it's to be, it's up to me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the simplicity of the principle of accumulation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be obsess on the bigger picture and stop focusing on the simplicity of the 1+1=2 equation

I commit myself to stop the fear of responsibility

I commit myself to stand as a living example of integrity

I commit myself to not let the external event deviate me from my life purpose

I commit myself to show to the world what's possible when you have access and use the Desteni tool

Day 83 : The beginning of DIP pro

I have started the DIPpro recently. 

I was pretty satisfied with the results that I was having with the DIPlite, and all the other Desteni matherial and tools that I had access to. 

I was starting to feel that I was virtually limitless. 

Interestingly enough, I quickly realize that I was lying to myself when I find myself in a situation where I feel completely blocked/stuck emotionally. I didn't how to deal with this massive emotional reaction on the moment. Every time I face a wall in my life, it bring me point into the space of raw self-honesty, where I must confront the fact that I am still incredibly limited despite how much progress I have done. 

 One thing about me is I hate being limited, so when I realize that I am limiting myself, I ask myself what can I do about that. At this point in my process, the answer was obvious to me. It was time for me to start the DIPpro. 

Only the first lesson completely blown my mind. I realize how little I was actually understanding about the mind. I was talking about the conscious/subconscious/unconscious mind without really having any real understanding of how it was actually working. 

This new vocabulary allowed me to see first hand the process that's going on within myself when I am triggered. That alone increase my self-awareness dramatically. I was able to see the reaction evolving within myself and redirecting myself through breathing. When I was writing on a specific point it was way more effective and I was actually going somewhere instead of just writing some random stuff. 

I then realize that what was missing for me was a STRUCTURED way of change. And that's why DIPpro is so awesome to me. It take me a while to get started, but I will stick to it. At this point in time, I will start increase the amount of responsibilities so I can lead more people to lead themselves. If I am not walking my process simultaneously, I could collapse. By staying consistent with my process, I also ensure that my ego will not take over my integrity. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I have figure it out 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I didn't need DIPpro

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to invest into DIPpro 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the DIPpro is the most advance structured way of change available on the planet.

I commit myself to complete my DIPpro, no matter how long it take, no matter how challenging it is. 

Day 82 : 13. My Physical Body is My Temple

13. My Physical Body is My Temple

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I honour and support my physical body as an expression of me. I nurture it and care for it in order to ensure my best possible expression in this life. I take into consideration the impact of thoughts and emotions on the physical body and within this I commit myself to practice self-awareness and self-care through not only diet and physical wellness but also internal stability and clarity. ( Source : https://desteni.org/about-us/desteni-principles) 


My health research led me to realize that the the physical body is run by an incredible intelligence that go way beyond the mind. Instead of trying to to figure out how to heal, I realize that they mains keys for the optimal functioning of my physical body was to provide it with the proper fuel and make sure I am not interfering with that intelligence that run everything within my physical body. 

I have for a long time, thought that I could use my mind to heal my physical body, what I end up realizing later was that my mind was in fact interfering with my natural ability to heal. If I cut my finger, my body is already working on healing it and the entire process is beyond what I can conceive in my mind. That was arrogant to think that my mind had anything to do with that. 

Everyone know that stress is very destructive for the physical body, what nobody talk about is where does that stress come from. That's why the DIP is key to reprogram myself as what's best for all life is a vital key to be healthy, because disease is the incorrect programming of the words into the flesh where all that's life is considered or realized. Nobody will ever figure this out on their own. A structed way of change is require so we can understand how the mind works, how the body works, how reality works, hoe we have been programmed and how to correct that. There's no self-development course out there that teach the full process of how everything work. Therefore in order to really addresses the root cause of stress, the Desteni tools are require.

The next points is to understand to do basic nutrition about what's optimal for our physical body and what should be avoid. 

One of the best advice that I receive was to eat what's the closest as nature instead for us, because life know better than us. Depending of where we lived and our genetic makeup, we all have different needs, so there's not one recipe that will fit for everyone. We have to investigate everything, to be aware that the desire of profits have take over our food industries. So we must investigate all thing with common sense, and keep what's best. 

I could sum up everything by that. In order to take care of my physical body, I must feed it with the proper nutrition, drink enough water, rest when needed and the most important thing of all walking my process so I can calibrated my mind to do what's best and therefore stop the parasitical mind to consume my physical body. I must acknowledge that my body is important and must be taking care of in order for me to fulfill my fullest potential within this life. I remember one great quotes from the Dr Marshall : '' there's no super achiever with a migraine'' Therefore it's important to take care of the body, if I want to have the greatest impact possible within this life, because my time here is limited. 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

Day 81 : 12. The Principle of Visibly Living the Principles

Actively living the proof of what can be accomplished when individuals live their potential by ensuring that these principles come through in all that I do, in all areas of my life, so that the example I set for others always stands for What is Best for All. ( source: Desteni.org)

When someone is willing to stand up as what's is best for all life, he give others the permission to do so. I have been inspired to walk my own process because I have see the results of it in other's people life. I noticed within those that have worked on changing their structural resonance since a while, that they had a very level of emotional stability. What really hit me was the level of authenticity that was coming from them. The proof was in the pudding. 

At that moment in my life, I didn't really understand how the Desteni tools would be different than any other things that I had ever tried in my life. I tried virtually everything in my life and I was affraid that this would also be a waste of time. After fews months using the tools, I had enough clarity to see how effective they were. 

Overtime, I get more and more clarity and I could see how the Desteni message was making so much sense. I didn't had to believe anything, I was just observing with common sense, how we could actually solve the problem of this world. I remember in one audio Bernard say the the Desteni message is the hardest message on earth to bring to other people. With great power came great responsibility. Once you take the red pill, you cannot go back. I couldn't do like cipher in the matrix and go back to the delusion of the mind. 

Since I couldn't go back, I had to move forwards. The only way out was to create a world that's best for all. My only way out was to walk my own individual process.

I had to find out what my real potential was and not the bullshit that have been programmed into me by the personal development industry. 

So I started to talk my process more and more seriously, I fall many many times, but I always get back up. I already been on the road of self-interest for long enough to know that it's a dead end. Like in the matrix '' You have been down that road before'' I knew I had no future on that road. 

As I am writing those words, I am walking my process since almost 2 years, and I had proof to myself and others around me that it's possible to change. It will take time to deal with all the point, but I can still stand up right now within my current limitation as what's best for all. I will fall again, I will make mistake, but I will never give up until my last breath on this planet. 

Day 80 : 11. The Principle of Relationships as Agreements

11. The Principle of Relationships as Agreements

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Individuals coming together to support the manifestation of the best possible versions of ourselves and each other. Nurturing each other's potential and supporting one another to transform weaknesses into strengths. Creating a safe space for the healthy expression of intimacy and sexuality. ( source: https://desteni.org/about-us/desteni-principles) 

My last relationship wasn't based on agreement at all. It was purely based on feelings. The problems with that is that feeling have no structure, so when that fussy feeling of love that make us feel warm inside disappear, the relationship collapse. 

We were not focus on nurturing each other potential, our focus was to nurture our own self interest. It's almost if we were both having in the back of our mind : '' how much can I take from this person so I can generate that feeling of love that make me feel really good'' That was fucked. 

Now after a while walking my process for a while, I can see why relationships based on principles are a very solid foundation for a stable relationship, because principle are stable, feelings are not. How could we build a skyscraper without a solid foundation. 

Now it's seems easy on paper, but in real life application it's a constant process of self-introspection where I will have to investigate every point within me where I will have the desire to put ''me'' first instead of ''what's best for both of us'' first. The good thing is that I have all the tools available to walk through those point.    

 

Day 79 : 10 the principle of honouring life in all forms

 

10. Honouring Life in all forms

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I expand my awareness and responsibility to consider and create the best possible life for everyone and everything from the large to the small. ( source : https://desteni.org/about-us/desteni-principles) 

In order for me to honor all life, I must be clear about what life actually is. I remember talking with a guy fews years ago. I was explaining to him that tree was alive. I look at me very confuse and say to me that tree are not really alive lol. 

To make it simple, I can simply look at the balance that exist within nature. All system are interdependant and connected together. Even if everything follow a specific set of programs, nature is very balanced compare to the world of the human rules by the mind. 

A good starting point is to be aware of everything that exist in the physical and observe how I as individual impact those things. Do I support the physical or do I abuse it. 

On a smaller scale, I can look at my own physical body. If I seek energy like a crack addict, it's obvious that my physical body will deteriorate itself. It's well known that stress deteriorate the physical body and accelerate the aging process like crazy. What it's not that well known is where does the stress actually come from. As I start walking my process with Desteni, I realize how little I actually know about the mind and his structure. I realize that I was programmed to abuse life. Everything was automated. 

Then I can expand my awareness to all the human being and see how I impact them. I must be honest with myself. It's not easy to admit that my participation in the money system is creating poverty on the other side of the world. It's not easy to acknowledge the suffering that I am creating for other when I chose to seek my own self-interest, but it's necessary, if I want to stop the abuse. 

Then I can expand my awareness to the animals and see how much suffering we have created within the animals kingdoms in the name of our self-interest. A great example is that we put animals in zoo where animals can never truly live as their full potential all of it for us to generate a feeling. We have reduce something beautiful to consumerism all of it for our own self interest. I could also speak about the atrocious condition that animals have to go through in the mass meat production industries. If we would raise and slaughter the animals that we are eating, we would probably not wasted as much as we do now. I don't talk about going vegan here, I talk about understanding how I as individual participate in the abuse. 

Then I can expand my awareness to the nature ( plants, water, minerals etc). We are all dependant from nature to survive. The tree for example are recycling our CO2 and converting it to oxygen. In the name of profit, we have decimated nature and we keep doing it. Here the abuse is obvious. How many tree are use to print newspapers? All of it to make sure everybody stay brainwash into consumerism. 100% of it could go digital and we could stop cutting tree for that specific purpose, but a good old paper journal in the home is more effective to fulfill his purpose. 

All of that bring us to the money system. First I must investigate how I participate in seeking my self interest. On a bigger scale, we must address the money system that lead us to compete with each other and seek our self-interest. What can I do now? I must walk my own individual process and remove all the points of abuse that exist within me. Then I must stand with a group so we can adress the system. 

Day 78 : 9.The Principle of Making Love Real

9. The Principle of Making Love Real

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Nurturing and honouring the utmost potential in every individual (including myself) wherein love is not a feeling or emotions, but an action sthat is lived by doing whatever is necessary to support without compromising myself or the other - without fear of "losing" the relationship or the feelings associated to love, and without accepting or allowing less than my own or my partner's utmost potential.( source : https://desteni.org/about-us/desteni-principles) 

Few years ago, I have been into my love and light phase, where I was convinced that ''sending'' love was having a positive impact on the world. I mean I studied the work of Emoto and saw how the word ''love'' was creating the perfect beautiful structure of water crystal. When I look back, I realize that my love and light phase was the greatest phase of self-interest I have ever gone through. I could I pretend that love would solves things like poverty when I myself was relying on having my basic need met to be able to feel that love. With common sense, I could easily have seen that the world wasn't lacking love as a feeling. In fact love was the justification to allow the abuse to perpetuate itself. Later on when I have been expose to the Desteni material I have been snapped out of my delusion. I realize that Emoto wasn't in fact understanding what the fuck he was doing lol. I realize that the structure of the water crystal was in fact a reflection of our consciousness. I realize that trying to use love as a feeling to bring any change in this world was retarded. 

Later on, I realize that real love is shown through real action in the physical world. A mother that feed her child is doing an act of real love. A parent that wake up in the middle of the night to take care of his child that is crying despite of how he feel is doing an act of love. Real love is in fact measurable in the physical world. Love as a feeling can always been use to deceive and manipulate other. 

 

So in the fucked up system we are currently living in, what would be the greatest act of love possible if love is what we do. If we look at the amount of people that die from starvation everyday, we might realize that we are not that loving.

 With that in mind, Creating a world system that's best for all become the greatest act of love that someone could ever conceive. Do we know all the detail ? Nope, but we know that everybody have basic need. So let's start there.  

I am not stupid, I know that I won't change the system on my own. I must be self-honest and ask myself if I as individual is doing the right thing to bring change within the system so we could eventually have a world that's best for all.

 

Day 77 : The principle of self-trust

 

8. The Principle of Self-Trust

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No matter what hardships, failures, and mistakes I may face, I always come back to myself and the principles that I stand as. I will not give up or allow myself to blame others for the circumstances of my life or how I choose to live it. I take absolute self-responsibility. ( source : (https://desteni.org/about-us/desteni-principles) 

It's virtually impossible to have any form of Self-Trust if I have not clearly define the the principles that I chose to stand as. The principles are stable, emotion and feelings are not. Once I have establish a stable reference point, I must then trust myself that I will do my best to live those principles , not out of belief, but out of common sense and understanding of the fact that living those principle will end my inner personal conflict. 

Once the guideline, have been establish, it's then easier to trust myself, because I have a measurable reference point and I can see if I am deceiving myself or not.

Now I can direct myself moment by moment and trust myself that I will do what I see as being best in every moment. My understand of what's best can still be limited in certain case, but that's where self-trust come in. I must within my current limited understanding trust myself and the best I can with what I have. When I find myself making mistake, I can learn lesson from them and move forward. 

Self-Trust is essential to move forward. It's ok to observe those who are more advance in their process and take advice from them, but at the end, I must be the one that direct myself. If I rely on any external force to move myself, I am not directing myself and give away my responsibility. In fact, I shouldn't never trust anyone else than myself, that would be stupid. As we move on, everyone will learn how to trust themselves and develop real integrity. Therefore instead, of asking to people to trust me, I rather show to them how to they can trust themselves. I like this audio from Bernard where he say that he is not interest of anyone trusting him, he is interested about people trusting themselves. That make sense !