Tuesday, 30 July 2019

Day 37 : 8 stage of the process part 3 of 8 ( Self-illusioner)

For context listen to the audio 8 stage of the process (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=su5FTMjG6jA&t=179s)

In this audio, Bernard explain that a Self-illusioner is someone who go throught life withtout questionning anything. They are doing what they have been taught. If there parents were christian, they are christian. So do do with their life what is require for them to do according to their education to be a good person in this  system. They are totally happy with the system. Because of this they cannot perceive the delusion from it.


From what I did observe so far, it's clear to me that the majority of people fall into that categories. The control of the media is nesserary to maintain people in that state. By controlling the information, they can make people beleive in a certain way and therefore lead them to live a illusionary life without daring question it.

Because their entire paradigm is based on beliefs( what they have been taught), they are not sincerely happy. Deep down they know that swomething is very wrong. Because beliefs are not based on truth, they are in a constant state of fear, doubt, uncertainty. If someone dare to question those believes that there existence is based on, they will fight you. Since a constant state of suffering come with that stage, it seems that they only way to get out is when a person will reach a point where the pain because so unbearable, that they are force to give up their illusion and move to the next step. Unfortunately, many people will never reach that point and live an entire life being a self-illusioner. I guess, the death is the point self honesty. There's no place for bullshit anymore when we are dying.

From my own experience. I have been in that stage in my early life. I was doing my best to follow the advice given by my parents and the society to try to fit in that society as "good person". I have been to college, with the purpose of getting a job and all the bullshit that follow. I always feel that something was very wrong with that world, but I was not able to identify what it was. It's the sudden death of one of my friend, that lead my entire illusionary world to collapse. The roadmap offer by that system was not making so much sense anymore. The path of go to school, get a job, retire was not making so much sense when I realize that I could suddenly die, every single day. When there's no more promise, no more guarantee, that's when the game is starting. If life is not that bullshit, what's life ?

I feel that I am out of the stage of Self-Illusioner, but it's not that simple. When we got out of one illusion, there's another one that come up. It's seems to me that at the moment, we think we have figured it out, we are fucked, because we are now at the mercy of another illusion. That's why I always stay curious, I keep investigating everything and even if I do mistake, I learn from them and move foward.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a Self-illusioner

I forigive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my illusion being challenge

I forigive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stop investigating

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not understand why people had so much resistance when their illusion was being challenge

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I had figured it out when in fact, my understanding of how reality really operate is very limited

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist when my illusion was challenged without realizing that I was trying to protect an irrational beliefs system.

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