Day 93 : Dealing with the mind, but neglecting the body

  Within the last few years, I started to work extensively on my process of self-forgiveness, push through my preprogramming and lived the change that I wanted to live. An interesting point that I noticed within that is that I have to some extent neglect taking care of my physical body. I kind of always postponed it almost like if I had created this idea of Correct the mind first then take care of the body without realizing that they need both to be addresses simultaneously. 

If I take care of my physical body by drinking enough water, get the best nutrition, do exercise, eat good quality food, have good quality sleep etc, I put myself in a position where I have more physical energy to walk my process of correcting my mind. 

Obviously, I understand that every thoughts/emotions/feeling are having an effect on my physical body, so walking the process of correcting my mind is a part of stoping the abuse of the physical body, but in my case, I focus only on that aspect without really focusing on the physical aspect of taking care of the body. 

I wasn't really living the principle of ''My physical body is my temple''  fully I was only working on one part of the equation.

''I honour and support my physical body as an expression of me. I nurture it and care for it in order to ensure my best possible expression in this life. I take into consideration the impact of thoughts and emotions on the physical body and within this I commit myself to practice self-awareness and self-care through not only diet and physical wellness but also internal stability and clarity.'' (https://desteni.org/about-us/desteni-principles)


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect my body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to operate on programs/habits/preferences in terms of how I was treating my body instead of reeducating myself and investigating what was the best support for my physical body. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny the consequences of what I was doing or not doing to my physical body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect having the best nutrition

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect doing regulars exercises

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect drinking enough water everyday

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the body affect the mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that neglecting my body was in fact slowing me down in my process to correct my mind. 

When and as I see myself slipping down into habit that are destructive for my physical body, I stop and breath. 

I commit myself investigate all my habits that are having a direct impact on my physical body to see if there's improvement to be made. 

I commit myself to create new physical habits to support my body in the best way. 

I commit myself to work simultaneously on correcting my mind and taking care of my physical body. 

I commit myself to honor the principle of '' My physical body is my temple'' 

Day 92: Reflecting on indifference

 Today, I catch myself having backchat about the overall indifference that I am observing from people in general. I then go into blame and I could see anger building up within myself. As I became aware of my backchat/reaction, I stop and bring everything back to myself in one moment to ask myself how I was participating in that pattern, because what I learn in the past years is that what I am blaming other for is generally what I refuse to see within myself. 

I could clearly see that my judgement towards others was actually self-judgment, because when I start to really look at it, there's so much more that I could actually do with my current set of skills, abilities and sphere of influences. Real care is not shown by intention, but by living our principle through our actions. So I was blaming other people for not caring, but in reality, I wasn't doing what I know I should do, so I start to look at what was wrong inside of me instead of facing that point within me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame other people for their indifference to distract myself from my participation within that point 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry as I was seeing other people being indifferent. 

When and as I see myself blaming other people for being indifferent I stop and breath 

I realize that that me blaming other people within that point was actually me distracting myself from seeing how I was participating in that point. 

I commit myself to live the word care. 

I commit myself to show through my actions that I do care. 

Day 91 : Supression of depression

 After I walked my lesson on Self-Honesty in my SRA, I realize how often I was actually lying to myself and how quickly I was suppressing a point that was emerging within myself. 

The interesting thing is that it's not a new phenomena, it's something that I always done, but without that understanding, I wasn't fully aware that I was suppressing those points. 

One point that come up this week was the feeling of depression. For the first time in my life, I was able to see that this wasn't just a point coming up, this was an under-lying point that was virtually constantly present throughout my life. 

I realize that the way I coped with that point was by constantly distracting myself from it. In the past when I was still drinking, I was using alcohol as a suppressor to get a relief from this feeling. I also distracted myself by keeping myself busy by working or simply trying to distract myself by thinking about something else. 

One other subtle way to refuse to acknowledge it, by participating into backchat like " I have no reason to be depress, I have an amazing life, I am so lucky, There's people that live horrible life that do have a pretty good reason to be depress'' etc. 

So for the first time of my life, I stopped and look at that feeling that was happening within me. I take a look at the ''Self forgiveness on the experience of depression on EQAFE'' which allowed me to put the words of what I was participating in within that points. 

I also get external support to get additional perspective on that point so I could get more clarity and cross reference my own conclusion. 

One thing that was I realize was the feeling of depression itself wasn't a big deal. What was a big deal was me starting to judge myself or me trying to suppress the point instead of acknowledging it, investigating it, write on it, breath through it. 

That has made a huge difference that really allowed me to start to face that point that exist within myself since a very long time. It's gonna be a process to fully process this point, but now that I have bring some self-honesty within that point, I can start to peel the layer of that ''onions'' 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel depressed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress the feeling of depression when it was coming up 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distract myself from depression 

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to feel that inner suffering

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for the feeling of depression


When and as I see myself feeling depressed, I stop and breath 

When and as I see myself feeling Sad, I stop and breath 

When and as I see myself feeling lonely, I stop and breath 

When and as I see myself Judging myself for feeling depress, I stop and breath

When and as I see myself fearing being judge by others for feeling depress I stop and breath

I commit myself to remain self-honest when that feeling of depression is coming up within me

I commit myself to breath instead of suppressing the feeling of depression

I commit myself to take steps in the physical to bring myself back here

I commit myself to when and as I feel depress to not go into victimization and take practical action to get out of my depression. 

Day 90 Believing in myself? WTF?

Tonight, I woke up around 3:00AM in the middle of the night and I wasn't able to fall asleep I check my phone to see what time it was and I saw a notification that Gian went live few hours ago. Since I wasn't able to sleep I chose to listen to it, since Gian always have some cool perspective that are supportive. 

Here's the video: https://www.facebook.com/gian.robberts/videos/705924044187181

In his video, Gian was talking about the fact that Bernard told him to believe in himself. When I heard that, I was even confuse, because once I start to investigate words 3 years ago, I remember pretty well the conclusion that I have drawn from redefining the word belief. 


Once I realize that a belief was something that we've accepted to be true, I make internally the decision that I would simply remove this word from my vocabulary. I mean why would I want to have beliefs if they're not real. That wouldn't be practical isn't?

I had been a believer for my entire life and that led me to complete delusion. That led me to hold back to things that wasn't real. 

So I was surprise to hear that. 

Then he explain that we have to use what's here and to understand the way we are programmed and use that to our advantage. 

The fascinating thing is that, I noticed that lot of people that have success in the system are believer. I remember one public speaker specifically which was a world class public speaker. He was also a believer. He shared that the reason why he became a speaker was because he had some kind of revelation from Jesus when he was young. 

I was astounded to see that this guy had a massive level of success even if his entire life was based on a delusion. 

I saw many many example like that, where people build their success based on their beliefs or simply believing in themselves. 

So how does that relate to my process. At some point, I came to the conclusion that it wasn't acceptable to believe anything or even believe in myself. 

Gian was explaining that it's good to have believe until you reach the point of understanding/living where you can actually share from your first hand experience. 

I can now clearly see the importance of this concept and the mistake that I have done within this. I tried to suppress the ''bridge'' that would lead me to real understanding/living. 

So obviously, I don't have to start to believe some random shit that is not practical, but starting to believe in myself, believe in my abilities and believe that I can do it is a pretty good foundation, until I can fully live that as my expression. 

So now I can see how I can practically use belief in a way that's best without losing myself in it. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that can use beliefs in a beneficial way 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not believe in myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist beliefs

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that beliefs can be a bridge that can potentially lead me to real understanding

Day 89: It's too late = Excuse for not taking responsibility for what's here

As I was looking at everything that was going on in the world and reflecting on my own process, one question came into my mind: Is it too late? 

The reasoning behind that question was that I could see that real change take time, dedication and constant application. Breaking free from the ego take everything that we have. 

And I was looking at the world, where the brainwashing is really extensive where people don't hesitate to sacrifice their health and their children health in the name of their personal interest.

I could see how easily the population can be manipulated. 

I could see the crystallization of the mind and see how hard it is for an adult walk their self-corrective process. 

So acknowledging what I was seeing in reality, bring that thought to my mind : Is it too late? 

The interesting thing that I have observed for the people that ''think it's too late'' is that they will immediately go back to their self-interest, and try to accumulate as much feeling/pleasures before they die, so they can extract the most possible energy from this life, before they end. 

So the fascinating point that I could see was that accepting the point within myself of ''It's too late'' would be nothing more than a strategy from my ego to escape responsibility and go back to seeking my own self-interest to the detriment of other. 

Interestingly enough, I already taken that road around 14 years ago, when one of my friend suddenly died. Instead of asking myself how I could bring real value into this world, while I am here, I went into the complete opposite and just want to take as much possible from this life. In this process, I went into extremely destructive behavior and it lead me to a situation where I was in an even worse position.

So what would be the best way to respond to that existential question '' Is it too late?'' 

Instead of making a movie in my mind about it, I can simply go back to the basic and ask myself how can I can take responsibility for what's here. Who do I need to become in order to be able to do something about the bigger picture? What limitation I am currently accepting within myself? 

If we really look at it, it's far from being game over. 

Life would never wonder if it is too late

The sun would never wonder if it's too late

The earth would never wonder if it's too late

The physical body never wonder if it's too late

They are just here, and they do what they need to do in the moment 

So that point of '' It's too late'' is just a mind point that have nothing to do with the physical reality. It's just an excuse for not taking responsibility. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that ''it's too late""

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that thinking it's too late is just a way to escape self-responsibility 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt myself 

When and as I see myself thinking '' It's too late'' I stop and breath 

I realize that ''It's too late'' is just a program in my mind to try to escape self-responsibility 

Thus, I commit myself to take responsibility for what's here 

I commit push through my limitation

I commit myself to take responsibility for my inner reaction

I commit myself to bring myself back here

I commit myself to do what I need to do.

Day 88: Honesty is deception, Self-Honesty is the key

 I recently walked the lesson on Self-Honesty in my SRA2 and I was surprise to realize that honesty was a part of the deception of the mind. The interesting thing is that once you're aware of that, you can't really go back. I start to see within myself the deception when I was honest with someone else, but not fully self-honest within myself. 

I also my find myself being honest with other people in a way where I was selling them on me being fully honest and transparent, and in most of the case, people would be in agreement with me because of the way I present information to them, but in reality, my ego remain intact. 

So I learned a lot from this and realize that being honest is not enough. I must use honesty as a door to self-honesty. I must be self-aware in those moment, to really investigate what's going on within myself behind the thought/emotions/Feelings that I am sharing with another person. Obviously, the mind have a tendency to suppress quickly those things, so instead of pretending that I am dealing with them on my mind, I must sit down, write about those things, do my self-forgiveness, do my self-corrective statement and go out there and live the change. I can also share those writing with someone else so they can cross reference if I am really correcting myself or if I am using my writing to reinforce my ego. 

I knew since a while that Self-Honesty in the key to REAL change, the key to self-REALization, the key to life, they key to here, the key to break free from my mind. It's only recently that I started to realize what real self-honesty is all about.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that being honest was the same than being self-honest

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the deception in honesty

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that everything I am honest, it open me the door to look deeper and be Self-Honest

When and as I see myself being honest with someone, I stop and breath

When and as I see myself being afraid to look at what's being the honesty, I stop and breath

I realize that I have confuse Self-Honesty with Honesty for a long time and that has hold be back in my process, because I give myself the illusion that I was moving forwards with certain point which I was honest about with other people, without really being fully honest with myself about what was really going on. 

Thus, I commit myself to, when I am honest with another person, not stop there and truly investigate what's going on within myself and do some writing so I can find out what's really going on, where does that ''truth'' that I am sharing as ''thought/emotion/feeling/'' is actually coming from and walk a process of self-correction on the underlying points. 

Day 87 Getting back on track while we're heading to WW3

For  Context: It's been 8 months since I haven't made any public blog/vlog about my process. During that time, I was still walking my process: Working on my DIPpro, just recently complete the first year of my DIPpro and recently started my SRA2 and this is from my experience the most in advance in depth course, I have even been exposed to. The process of self-discovery is quite journey. 

Many events happened between my last blog and now, and I found myself doing the bare minimum in term of writing. I wasn't writing consistently like I used to do at the beginning of my process. I was completely open about my process at the beginning, but once I started DIPpro, I stopped exposing myself. I was still working on a daily basis to become aware of my limitation, forgive them, Correct them and then live the change in real life. I have been able to overcome many points within the last fews months, but where's the record. On a subconscious level I start to be afraid to expose myself. Afraid to fall, afraid to be judge afraid that people would use the information in my blog against me, afraid to show my weaknesses to the world. And I was pondering about this... If I would die today, where would be the record between the 6JUNE2021 to today. Nothing that people can cross reference my process/change. By keeping myself isolated/hidden, I also give myself an escape route where it wasn't a  big deal if I am not walking my process seriously for couple days, or weeks or even months. I mean who would know? 

Now, I start have a glimpse of what it really mean to be self-honest. It's an ongoing process of uncovering all the layers of Dishonesty/Self-Dishonesty/Honesty

Also, as I started walking my DIPpro, I realize that most of my SF in my past blog wasn't actually real, it wasn't really effective. I felt in that way that it wasn't worth it to keep blogging publicly, if I wasn't fully effective. Now I can see that it didn't really matter because even if the structure wasn't perfect it always bring awareness to some extent to what's going on within myself and gave me the opportunity to start working on some point . So using wanting to be perfect as an excuse to not do something is just ego, because that's what the process of self-correction is all about, realizing where we make mistakes and correct them. What was my starting point anyway? Trying to prove to the world that I was doing good self-forgivness lol? 

Now, as I am writing those words, the system is busy collapsing in front of our eyes. The war for the mind is here. People are more divided than ever and the elite is out of control. I noticed that most people have the ability to don't look at what's going on in  reality. It's easier for them to operate in their everyday life when they don't have to look at the bigger picture. At some point in my life, I made the decision that I would always keep my eyes wide open on what's really going in this world. Right now it's not a pretty picture. In the last 2 years, I see more death, suicide, people forced intro poverty, division, starvation, suffering than ever. I've seen lives of people in my surrounding being completely destroyed. 

The pressure become unbearable and people can't handle it, because of the ineffective programming that they received from the system. 

It's quite obvious at this point that we are heading towards a world war, actually it's already started since many years : The war for the mind. 

When I look back at my past year, I am wondering how much more I could have done, if I would not have allowed my limitation to hold me back. Now it's time to let it all go and to recreate myself as real being of integrity that stand and live the principles of life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to isolate myself 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that someone would judge my writing 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel judge

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to write with the starting point of trying to prove something to the world 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek approval in my writing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I don't need to write to sort out point

When and as I see myself wanting to isolate myself and not expose myself, I stop and breath 

When and as I see myself fearing being judge if I expose my writing, I stop and breath 

When and as I see myself falling, I stop and breath

When and as I see myself fearing being judge, I stop and breath

When and as I see myself doing something with the starting point of proving something to the world, I stop and breath. 

I commit myself to be more transparent

I commit myself to keep walking my process with the starting point of self-realization 

I commit myself to when I fall, to stand up and keep going