Day 86: Redefining the words power/empower

For context, I become aware that I have this reoccurring pattern when I find myself reacting with overwhelming rage when I was in situation where some restrictions was impose on me. By having a discussion with someone that support me within that point I realize that the main emotion that I was experiencing in that moment was feeling powerless. I notice that with the COVID situation and seeing the world falling apart around me, it intensify that feeling within me, because I develop a sense of emergency. I know within myself that I can be a part of the solution, so when another person is imposing me something where I will be restricted in either the area of time of money, I have within me this rage towards them a part of me want to blame them instead of taking responsibility for how I am reacting to the situation. 

So let's start by looking at the definition of the word POWERLESS

1. devoid of strength or resources
2.lacking the authority or capacity to act

3. without ability, influence, or power.

4. unable to produce an effect:

5. lacking power to act; helpless

 So by looking at the various definition, I can see why that feeling of overwhelming rage was emerging whitin me when I was in a situation where I felt powerless. I felt in a way that I didn't really have the ability/strenght/capacity/influence/power to do something about that particular situation. Therefore, instead of focusing only on trying to remove those external limitations, I should bring all of this back to my self and see how I can live those words as my expression, because at the end, there's always some limitation in this world. So my focus should be on removing the limitation within my programming, so I can become more effective within the external limitations of this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel powerless when I am in a situation where I am restricted in my finance

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel powerless when my time is restricted by some events

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let the feeling of being powerless into an intense rage 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate responsibility and blame external people/events/circumstance instead of looking within myself to find out why I feel powerless  within those situation 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into blame instead of taking the right action in the physical to get myself out of the situation where I am restricted 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that there's always some limitations in the current system

When I see myself feeling powerless, I stop and breath. I realize that it's a waste of time to blame people/circumstance and let that evolve into rage instead of taking responsibility for what's going on within myself . I realize that my emotional reaction prevent me from taking the right action in the physical and work on practical solutions. Therefore, next time, I will feel powerless, I commit myself to stop, look at what I can DO in the moment, and take the best action that I can take within the limitation of the situation. 

Now let's look at the word power and see how I can live this word that I feel I am missing. 

1. the ability to do something or act in a particular way, especially as a faculty or quality

2. the capacity or ability to direct or influence the behavior of others or the course of events

3. ability to act or produce an effect

4. ability to do or act; capability of doing or accomplishing something.

Now I can clearly see why I felt powerless in certain situation. I was focusing on what I didn't felt I have the ability to do something about it and one of the main point that I notice was that when I felt powerless, I was going into that state of paralysis, therefore I wasn't taking the action that I needed to take in the moment to get myself out of that situation. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that there's nothing that I can do 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see POWER as something bad and associate this word with Dictatorship, Tyranny, Control

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that having power is having the ability to do something about the situation I am in 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear living the word power as my expression

When I see myself feeling powerless, I stop and breath. I realize that I was holding myself back from living the word POWER as my expression because I didn't really understand why power really mean and I had a negative emotional charge attach to that word. I realize that having power is in fact a really good thing specially in the current system that we live in where problematic situation are happening every single day. Therefore having the power to do something about it is quite cool, Thus I commit myself to live the word POWER as my expression as the ability to do what's the best thing to do in every moment by considering every variable that I can currently conceive within my current limitation. 

Now let's take a look at the word EMPOWER 

1. to give power or authority to; authorize, especially by legal or official means
2. to enable or permit:

3. give (someone) the authority or power to do something.

4. make (someone) stronger and more confident, especially in controlling their life and claiming their rights.


So now the key point is to see how I can empower myself, which come down to giving myself the power/AUTHORity to do something about my situation. This is a decision I can make in every moment that I feel powerless instead of going into blame/anger/frustration/rage and stay trapped in my mind/story/drama. 

Day 85 : Alcohol, Chistmas, New year and fighting the mind demon

Around mid October, I have make the decision that I would stop drinking alcohol for 3 months. When I was on a trip in Texas, I was chatting with someone that is very advanced in her Desteni process and walk herself the point of stopping alcohol. I didn't had a hard time to stop drinking during those 3 months because I was focus on multiple project and moving forward with my business. When I shared with her my process of stopping for 3 months, she suggest to me to stop for an entire years. When she suggest that to me, the addiction programming really kicked in and I had massive amount of resistance. The backchat immediately start to come up. '' 1 years, are you crazy, I don't want to stop one year, Christmas is coming, I cannot not drink at Christmas! I love drinking, I don't want to give it up for so long, I want to be able to drink a cup of wine if I go on a date, fuck this, I don't want to give up drinking a refreshing cold IPA during the next summer etc. 

When she look at how I react, she say that it was now clear to her that it must be the point that I must give up in order for me to unlock all the other points that I am suppressing. When I was looking myself with self honesty, I was able to see that she was right. I could clearly saw how this addiction was holding me back in many area of my life. In 2020 I have push myself beyond my limitation. I have push through my preprogramming to some extent, and when I step out of my preprogramming in some case I will experience massive resistance. When I have successfully walked through it, I did experience permanent change to some extend, but what I realize is that in some case, instead of pushing through that resistance, I used alcohol to try to get a release from my mind. So instead of facing the point, I was pushing on the reset every single time and therefore failed to change the programming. 

So in self-honesty, I knew I changed a lot, but how much more could I change if I would fully walk through that resistance instead of using alcohol to release myself from it. The thing is that the issue was way deeper than I thought 

After she saw my reaction, she suggest me to read 2 blogs from creation journey to life.  
http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/01/day-284-alcohol-drugs-and-demon.html
http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/01/day-285-alcohol-drugs-and-demon.html

In those blogs, Bernard explain that during our entire life we create what he call a ''suppressed personality''. That suppressed personality is like an entity/mind demon made of suppressed energy. When we drink alcohol it activated that entity. We are virtually possessed by that mind demon. 

That was painful for me to read and I REALLY resist those blog. Here's why. It's only when I was drinking that I was fully feeling ''myself''. What I was thinking to be myself was just an energetic entity made of suppressed energy. What a shock for me to realize that I never really experience myself as who I really am. As I start to observe other people around me getting drunk, I realized that I was not alone in this. People become virtually possessed when they are drunk. I can see a complete shift in their behavior that's no different at all than the kind of possession that we can see in the movie. 

In completely honesty even knowing all of that, I still didn't want to stop. The mind kicked in again, the backchat, the emotional reaction, the physical reaction etc. But who the fuck is talking? me or a fucking mind demon made of suppressed energy ? 

It's then become quite obvious that having an entity within myself made of suppressed energy wasn't my optimal situation. The other thing that become obvious was that I couldn't deal with that if I would keep drinking because otherwise I would just keep repeat the same cycle. 

Anyway, mid December came and I complete my 3 months challenge, but I didn't celebrate by getting drunk. I didn't really notice, because I was focus on project, but them Christmas came. 

Now for me spending Christmas with my family was a massive trigger generator. They had wine during the dinner, some of the best beers during the evening, some of the finest liquor. 

People offering me drink and beer, I had to decline over and over again even if my body was fucking craving it. I could smell the aroma of the IPA from their glasses. That trigger various memories within myself. Just to pain the picture, I cannot go and barricade myself in a room and do self-forgiveness, it's Christmas, so I stay there with them and I fight against my own mind demon. Then at some point, I get a bit bored. I know that drinking alcohol would allow me to relax and have fun, but I make the decision that I would not drink. I ended up getting over being bored. At some point we play some board game and I had a great time. That physical activity allow myself to get out of my mind. The interesting thing is when it's getting late and I see everyone totally drunk, I don't have any desire to be like them anymore. They process things very slowly, they can barely have a conversation, they are very emotional for stupid stuff etc. I can now see the mind demons in other people. And for the first time in that evening, I feel quite good about myself for not getting drunk. 

The day after, while everyone was hangover, I was alert and I was working on some project that I am passionate about. Stuff that actually matter. 

I had to walk through that experience 4 times during Christmas and the New years party. I wish I could tell it was easier and easier. It wasn't. The alcohol programming is so engrained within me that the same pattern repeat itself every single party. Because I started DIPpro, I could understand clearly the connection between the triggers and how it was manifesting in my conscious/subconscious/unconscious mind. 

Now I have the tool so I can work through it. Since this is a big point for me, I will need to dig deeper. Because not drinking is surface stuff, I need to use the tools to expose all that stuff that I have suppressed within myself over the last 30 years. 

Now let's do a bit of SF 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that alcohol was allowing to be myself when in fact was I thought was myself was in fact a mind demon made of suppressed energy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist quitting alcohol 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that my life would miss something without alcohol 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear giving up alcohol 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate excitement with alcohol 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that my life would be boring without alcohol 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use alcohol to get a release from my mind without realizing that I was just in fact postponing the problem by doing a mind-reset 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use alcohol to avoid discomfort

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use  alcohol to feel alive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how much alcohol fuck with my physical body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drink to generate mental energy instead of focusing on creating real value in this world 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny the consequence of alcohol on the physical body 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that in order to sort out that suppressed energy within myself, I must stop drinking long enough so I can really face those point

When I find myself craving alcohol, I stop and breath

Day 84: We can't go back, let's move forward

2020 is coming to an end. For most people that was the year where everything collapse. For me that was the year that accelerate my individual process. As everything start to collapse around me, I had 2 options. Collapse with the system, or stand as a self-leader as living example of integrity. At some point it was quite obvious that the elite would not back up this time. We all have secretly the desire that everything will go back to normal, just like that by magic. Unfortunately, it's time more than ever to give up all hope. 

I have make the decision to give up hope around 1 years ago. From a certain perspective, it was hard to give it up, because once you give up hope you must take responsibility for absolutely everything in this world. The poverty, the abuse, the violence and all the horrible stuff that's happening in this world in the name of self-interest. How could a single human being could handle that much responsibility? 

Even if I didn't feel that I could do anything about any of those global problem, I knew one thing. I knew that it was possible for an individual to change. I see so many people using the Desteni tool really changing their life and I had my own experience to know first hand that human nature can change. So hope was no longer a strategy. 

There's this old concept that say that : With great power comes great responsibility. What people never want to talk about is the fact that we have no power to change anything without taking responsibility. Everything is in reverse. With great responsibility comes great power ! 

So I should never be afraid to take more responsibility. The ''pandemic'' really give me the opportunity to do so. 

Now more than ever it's easy to '' give up my life'' or in another word '' giving up my self-interest'' it's easier to focus on what really matter. 

If I still postponed standing up, walking my process, and become a living example of integrity, I cannot complain about the outcome. The elite are not afraid of responsibility, that's why they are able to direct virtually everything in this world. If I keep walking my process and I proof to myself that I can be trusted with power and influence, I should not be afraid to become equal to them so I can be in a greater position of directing this world towards what's best for all life. Therefore I must embrace responsibility. If I can't handle it, I must change so I can handle more because time is running out. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I must move fast

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that thinking that I have more than enough time to change the system was a form of hope where I wasn't willing to take absolute 100% self-responsibility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking more responsibility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear giving up my self interest

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself to take more responsibility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that if it's to be, it's up to me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the simplicity of the principle of accumulation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be obsess on the bigger picture and stop focusing on the simplicity of the 1+1=2 equation

I commit myself to stop the fear of responsibility

I commit myself to stand as a living example of integrity

I commit myself to not let the external event deviate me from my life purpose

I commit myself to show to the world what's possible when you have access and use the Desteni tool

Day 83 : The beginning of DIP pro

I have started the DIPpro recently. 

I was pretty satisfied with the results that I was having with the DIPlite, and all the other Desteni matherial and tools that I had access to. 

I was starting to feel that I was virtually limitless. 

Interestingly enough, I quickly realize that I was lying to myself when I find myself in a situation where I feel completely blocked/stuck emotionally. I didn't how to deal with this massive emotional reaction on the moment. Every time I face a wall in my life, it bring me point into the space of raw self-honesty, where I must confront the fact that I am still incredibly limited despite how much progress I have done. 

 One thing about me is I hate being limited, so when I realize that I am limiting myself, I ask myself what can I do about that. At this point in my process, the answer was obvious to me. It was time for me to start the DIPpro. 

Only the first lesson completely blown my mind. I realize how little I was actually understanding about the mind. I was talking about the conscious/subconscious/unconscious mind without really having any real understanding of how it was actually working. 

This new vocabulary allowed me to see first hand the process that's going on within myself when I am triggered. That alone increase my self-awareness dramatically. I was able to see the reaction evolving within myself and redirecting myself through breathing. When I was writing on a specific point it was way more effective and I was actually going somewhere instead of just writing some random stuff. 

I then realize that what was missing for me was a STRUCTURED way of change. And that's why DIPpro is so awesome to me. It take me a while to get started, but I will stick to it. At this point in time, I will start increase the amount of responsibilities so I can lead more people to lead themselves. If I am not walking my process simultaneously, I could collapse. By staying consistent with my process, I also ensure that my ego will not take over my integrity. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I have figure it out 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I didn't need DIPpro

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to invest into DIPpro 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the DIPpro is the most advance structured way of change available on the planet.

I commit myself to complete my DIPpro, no matter how long it take, no matter how challenging it is. 

Day 82 : 13. My Physical Body is My Temple

13. My Physical Body is My Temple

---

I honour and support my physical body as an expression of me. I nurture it and care for it in order to ensure my best possible expression in this life. I take into consideration the impact of thoughts and emotions on the physical body and within this I commit myself to practice self-awareness and self-care through not only diet and physical wellness but also internal stability and clarity. ( Source : https://desteni.org/about-us/desteni-principles) 


My health research led me to realize that the the physical body is run by an incredible intelligence that go way beyond the mind. Instead of trying to to figure out how to heal, I realize that they mains keys for the optimal functioning of my physical body was to provide it with the proper fuel and make sure I am not interfering with that intelligence that run everything within my physical body. 

I have for a long time, thought that I could use my mind to heal my physical body, what I end up realizing later was that my mind was in fact interfering with my natural ability to heal. If I cut my finger, my body is already working on healing it and the entire process is beyond what I can conceive in my mind. That was arrogant to think that my mind had anything to do with that. 

Everyone know that stress is very destructive for the physical body, what nobody talk about is where does that stress come from. That's why the DIP is key to reprogram myself as what's best for all life is a vital key to be healthy, because disease is the incorrect programming of the words into the flesh where all that's life is considered or realized. Nobody will ever figure this out on their own. A structed way of change is require so we can understand how the mind works, how the body works, how reality works, hoe we have been programmed and how to correct that. There's no self-development course out there that teach the full process of how everything work. Therefore in order to really addresses the root cause of stress, the Desteni tools are require.

The next points is to understand to do basic nutrition about what's optimal for our physical body and what should be avoid. 

One of the best advice that I receive was to eat what's the closest as nature instead for us, because life know better than us. Depending of where we lived and our genetic makeup, we all have different needs, so there's not one recipe that will fit for everyone. We have to investigate everything, to be aware that the desire of profits have take over our food industries. So we must investigate all thing with common sense, and keep what's best. 

I could sum up everything by that. In order to take care of my physical body, I must feed it with the proper nutrition, drink enough water, rest when needed and the most important thing of all walking my process so I can calibrated my mind to do what's best and therefore stop the parasitical mind to consume my physical body. I must acknowledge that my body is important and must be taking care of in order for me to fulfill my fullest potential within this life. I remember one great quotes from the Dr Marshall : '' there's no super achiever with a migraine'' Therefore it's important to take care of the body, if I want to have the greatest impact possible within this life, because my time here is limited. 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

Day 81 : 12. The Principle of Visibly Living the Principles

Actively living the proof of what can be accomplished when individuals live their potential by ensuring that these principles come through in all that I do, in all areas of my life, so that the example I set for others always stands for What is Best for All. ( source: Desteni.org)

When someone is willing to stand up as what's is best for all life, he give others the permission to do so. I have been inspired to walk my own process because I have see the results of it in other's people life. I noticed within those that have worked on changing their structural resonance since a while, that they had a very level of emotional stability. What really hit me was the level of authenticity that was coming from them. The proof was in the pudding. 

At that moment in my life, I didn't really understand how the Desteni tools would be different than any other things that I had ever tried in my life. I tried virtually everything in my life and I was affraid that this would also be a waste of time. After fews months using the tools, I had enough clarity to see how effective they were. 

Overtime, I get more and more clarity and I could see how the Desteni message was making so much sense. I didn't had to believe anything, I was just observing with common sense, how we could actually solve the problem of this world. I remember in one audio Bernard say the the Desteni message is the hardest message on earth to bring to other people. With great power came great responsibility. Once you take the red pill, you cannot go back. I couldn't do like cipher in the matrix and go back to the delusion of the mind. 

Since I couldn't go back, I had to move forwards. The only way out was to create a world that's best for all. My only way out was to walk my own individual process.

I had to find out what my real potential was and not the bullshit that have been programmed into me by the personal development industry. 

So I started to talk my process more and more seriously, I fall many many times, but I always get back up. I already been on the road of self-interest for long enough to know that it's a dead end. Like in the matrix '' You have been down that road before'' I knew I had no future on that road. 

As I am writing those words, I am walking my process since almost 2 years, and I had proof to myself and others around me that it's possible to change. It will take time to deal with all the point, but I can still stand up right now within my current limitation as what's best for all. I will fall again, I will make mistake, but I will never give up until my last breath on this planet. 

Day 80 : 11. The Principle of Relationships as Agreements

11. The Principle of Relationships as Agreements

---

Individuals coming together to support the manifestation of the best possible versions of ourselves and each other. Nurturing each other's potential and supporting one another to transform weaknesses into strengths. Creating a safe space for the healthy expression of intimacy and sexuality. ( source: https://desteni.org/about-us/desteni-principles) 

My last relationship wasn't based on agreement at all. It was purely based on feelings. The problems with that is that feeling have no structure, so when that fussy feeling of love that make us feel warm inside disappear, the relationship collapse. 

We were not focus on nurturing each other potential, our focus was to nurture our own self interest. It's almost if we were both having in the back of our mind : '' how much can I take from this person so I can generate that feeling of love that make me feel really good'' That was fucked. 

Now after a while walking my process for a while, I can see why relationships based on principles are a very solid foundation for a stable relationship, because principle are stable, feelings are not. How could we build a skyscraper without a solid foundation. 

Now it's seems easy on paper, but in real life application it's a constant process of self-introspection where I will have to investigate every point within me where I will have the desire to put ''me'' first instead of ''what's best for both of us'' first. The good thing is that I have all the tools available to walk through those point.