It's incredible all the path that we can take in order to avoid facing ourselves. I have personally try many of them until I reach to point of self honesty and start walking in reverse.Here's few example of paths that I have tried in my quest to find myself, to finally realize that I was in fact avoiding facing myself.
Being a workaholic : My plan was clear. I didn't want to work my entire life, so I am going to work like a maniac. At that time I was uneducated so my plan had 0% to work, but I noticed that I while I was focus on working, I was feeling kind of good, because it was keeping me distracted from facing my inner hell. It work for a while until I end up in a complete burnout.
Being a travel Junkie : After feeling trapped and stuck in a job for so long, I came to the conclusion that there's more in this world than working, so I started travelling and really enjoy it. Again, travelling the world was preventing myself to face my inner world.
Relationship: while I was feeling love I didn't have to face the inner turmoil inside of me. Unfortunately, relationship based on feelings doesn't last very long, so when the love as feeling start to vanish, the relation is very soon also gone.
Get drunk ! : That as always been one of my favourite escape route. Alcohol always make me feel fantastic. It's almost like if every limits was remove from me and the background noise/fear also disappear. it's always give me a great sense of relief. Unfortunately, alcohol is also another way to avoid facing what is going on inside of me. I many case I have drink too much and do thing that I have regrets for months.
Self-betterment: Let's become more! meditation, positive thinking, light work etc. I have try and test everything under the sun. On the surface, it seems that I was experiencing some change, but at the core I was still fucked. Because what I didn't realize at that time is that self-betterment was in fact increasing the gap between me and other human being, and I was again avoiding facing myself. I went very far into my delusion until my identity based on delusion completely collapse.
After I have gone through those various path, I had no where else to go. I had to face myself in complete self-honesty. I had to be honest about the fact that none of those path had work for me to ''find myself''. Then I had been exposed to the Desteni tool and after a while I really start to understand what I was doing by trying all those various path: I was avoiding facing myself. I was dishonest about the fact that I wasn't really changing. I was not becoming a better person ( better here define as someone who consider all life).
Every road lead to self-honesty, sooner or later we have to face ourselves. What I found is that sooner is better than later. Many people die, without having ever came to the realization that they must face the consequence of what they have accepted and allowed to become. What happen when we die? I cannot answers this question for the moment, but I won't wait to get there. I will walk this process here in this life on this earth, because it make sense to do it.
The bad news is that it take 7 years to deconstruct the entire lie that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become, the good news is that event one months of real dedicate application is enough to start seeing significant results.
I have recently ended my delusion, and it was the most liberating thing I have ever experience. I know I have huge amount of work to do, but with the results that I am experiencing so far, I know I am not gonna back up. There's no other way out any way.
What better way could exist than the way of what is best for all life ?
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid facing myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distract myself from facing the consequences of what I have accepted and allowed myself to become
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